John had never cared about Christmas. His families had celebrated when he was a kid, sure, but he had always cared more about the presents than he had about the holiday spirit. His mother had tried to instill a love of lit trees and the smell of baked good in him but he had never truly love the holiday the way some of the other kids used to when they came to school in their Santa hats and talked about their letters to the fat man. As he got older he cared even less until he was sure the entirety of December could pass without the slightest interest from him.
Besides, in his new line of work as well informed and handsomely paid vigilante John found that he didn’t have a lot of time to care about the holidays as stress and desperation increased all across the city. Finch didn’t seem interested either besides the occasional peppermint tea and the numerous themed dog toys that appeared around the library.
The winter was ramping up and they had just wrapped up their fourth number in three days when John pulled himself up the library steps and almost ran into Harold on his way out.
“Hot date, Harold?” John asked with a wide grin.
“Yes. With a Ms. Doris Walker,” Harold said prim and flat.
“New number?” John assumed. If Finch had an actual date there’s no way that he would have told him her name. It had to be a new number.
Harold froze with his hands in the middle of tying the knot of his scarf and stared at him like John had grown a second head. “No, Mr. Reese. Seeing as she’s a fictional character. Have you never seen Miracle on 34th street?”
“A little before my time, Harold,” John said and tried not to sound relieved. No number and no date, John might get to sleep that night.
“It’s before no one’s time. It’s a classic,” Harold scolded him. “Let’s go.”
John thought about refusing but decided that without another number he didn’t have anything better to do. “Lead the way.”
The theater was surprisingly packed for a movie that had been released sixty years before. Harold got popcorn that he settled on his knee and tipped it toward John in offering.
John tried to focus and not just stare at Harold out of the corner of his eye the whole movie. It was the same problem he had every time they saw a movie together. John just wanted to put his arm around Harold and pull him close. Maybe try to make out if Harold didn’t care about the movie. John wished he could go back in time to tell his teenage self to see more movies with friends and not just dates so he didn’t want to make out every time the lights dimmed.
Instead he watched Harold be absorbed into the movie, eyes never wavering from the screen and smiling at jokes before they were told.
An hour and a half later they were back on the streets, the cold biting after the comfort of the theater. The sidewalk had patches of ice that the salt hadn’t made it to that John kept an eye on as he walked just half a step behind Harold, his hand ready to snap out and catch him as the slightest imbalance. He didn’t think Harold noticed.
“Had you never the movie before?” Harold asked as they stepped out.
“Bits and pieces on TV,” John said. “A Christmas favorite of yours?”
“Oh yes. My family didn’t celebrate Christmas but I saw it on TV and was in love. When I discovered that the theater was playing it I had to go.”
It was the most information John had ever learned about Harold’s past all in one sentence and it felt good, almost like they were normal enough to share more than tea and numbers. He stayed quiet instead and nodded, hoping it might inspire Harold to continue talking. It did. “Did you enjoy it?”
“Yeah.” They were making their way back to the library but Harold stopped and opened a coffee shop door for John to enter.
“It’s a wonder you could retain anything,” he said as John passed him.
John gave him a confused look.
“Considering you were staring at me the whole time,” Harold said then fixed his eyes on the board.
John felt his stomach swoop like he was in free fall. So they were going to talk about it now. He had always expected that Harold knew how he felt, he never put in as much effort into hiding it as he should have. He was quick to show his cards where Harold was concerned especially after he had come to terms his with quickly evolving feelings. Respect to attraction to trust to caring to love. Each had followed after the last like dominos set up in an intricate pattern by Harold’s own caring hands.
He had always expected Harold to know and keep it to himself. Then they wouldn’t have to talk it out they could just continue on the way they always had and they could both be spared the embarrassment for having to tell John to get his damn feelings under control.
John ordered himself a coffee and stood separate from Harold as he ordered himself a tea. They couldn’t talk while they were in such a crowded place so John kept himself under control, his face blank but no more empty than those around him who were just waiting for their coffee to be done so they could move on with their day.
Sooner than John was ready their drinks were done and they were walking out, following a crooked and doubled over path to the library. Harold didn’t say anything more and John wondered if they were going to leave it at that or if Harold was just going to wait for John to work up the nerve to bring it up.
Twenty minutes later they were only a block away from the library.
“You weren’t supposed to know,” John said even though it was a straight lie. He never made any promises about truth. “It doesn’t change anything.”
“It doesn’t?” Harold asked, he sounded genuinely curious as to how it didn’t change everything about them.
“It’s not like it’s new. Nothings going to change.”
“Oh.” Harold was silent after that, unlocking the door and letting them in. Bear came tearing though the library at them.
John took the leash that was next to the door and said he was taking Bear for a walk and Harold just nodded. Some space and he would have the time to think about just how little it was all going to matter in the long run. John would continue to pine and being protective. Sure for a while Harold would probably suspect that when John pressed a guiding hand to his lower back that it was some ploy to slip and cop a feel but he’d get over it. Or he wouldn’t and Harold would slowly start to distance himself. Either way it didn’t matter. Johns feelings had started long before they had been cemented on a rooftop with a bomb strapped to his chest. A return to original form wasn’t going to break them.
He returned to the library after almost an hour later Bear just tired enough to be ready for another nap. He’d want another walk once he woke up and ate but from the beeline to the water bowl and then his bed that would be a while.
Harold looked up when he came in but he just set his expression into something even more stubborn than usual.
“Mr. Reese,” Harold started then corrected himself. “John. I was under the impression that upon the realization that our feelings were mutual that there would be a shift in our relationship toward the romantic. Was I wrong in that assumption?”
It was the coffee shop panic all over again. His throat was too small and his tongue was too clumsy to make words. When his panic was suppressed by his training John had just the briefest moment to think that maybe not all of his training was for the worse. “Mutual feelings, Finch? Do you want to feel me up at the movies too?” John asked.
Harold hadn’t moved from his spot next to his desk or looked away from John but he was starting to fiddle with a pen cap, the only tell of nerves. “Well not at the movies. There’s far too much of a security risk in a loud, dark room if we are both preoccupied but I saw no reason why not in a more private setting. If we’re both amendable to it. Unless this is an attraction that you’d rather not pursue. In that case we can disregard this whole situation.”
“I didn’t think the feeling was mutual,” John explained. He started to move forward and Harold abandoned his fiddling, fixing his whole attention on John. His face screwed up in confusion.
“Who wouldn’t be attracted to you?”
“Straight men.”
“You thought I was straight?” Harold laughed. “You might be the first to think that since my mother.”
“Grace.”
“Jessica.”
“Fair.” John stopped two steps away from Harold. He needed to be sure this wasn't just talk to try and make John happy. He wanted to see the desire. He needed to.
Harold took a step forward. “Is this something you want? A relationship with me?”
“Why don’t you kiss me and find out?”
“I don’t think I’d ever want to stop kissing you once I started so I’d like an answer first. Some verbal confirmation that you are interested and would like to explore this...prospect.” Harold wasn’t talking to Johns face anymore, his eyes were fixed on Johns lips.
“I do want that. Kiss me, please.” That finally spurred Harold into action. He leaned up first and John met his halfway, his hand automatically going to the small of Harold’s back. He didn’t pull him closer just held him where he was and Harold threaded on hand through John’s hair. Harold kissed like he have orders, with authority and confidence but changing tactics and movements whenever he thought he could make it better.
When they broke apart John was laughing just a little. He was too giddy not to. Harold smiled at him when he noticed.
“Something funny?”
“No.” John bit his lip. “Do I get to make out with you if the movie is at my place?”
“What is with you and movies?”
John shrugged.
“Very well. Get Bear.” He turned around and locked down his computers as John clipped Bears leash back on, ignoring the betrayed look at his disrupted nap.
“Any requests?” John asked as Harold locked up.
“Oh, I hardly think it matters. I don’t plan on paying much attention anyway.”