Hob didn’t often work behind the bar, he was great at the chatting and pouring drinks part of the job. He was just really bad at the “remembering there are other parts to the job” part of the job. But just like everyone else, his staff gets sick sometimes. And since he’s only teaching one class this summer he’s behind the bar, having posted a recorded lecture and told the students to watch it and study for the exam next week.
A tall, blonde, broad person walks in, power rolling off of them as they approach the bar. Hob knows immediately that there’s something supernatural going on, can feel it in the air. But supernatural doesn’t always mean bad so he just greets them with a grin. “What can I get you?”
They open their mouth to answer but are cut off by another person appearing, one Hob didn’t even see come in. “Nothing,” the new person says, golden eyes fixed on the first person and lips pulled into a sneer. Hob would recognize the strange resonance of a voice like Dream’s anywhere and he knows somewhere deep in his heart that this is one of Dream’s siblings.
“My business is not with you, Desire,” they say, turning to glare down at them.
Desire seems to preen under the glare. “You have no business here at all, Morningstar. Hob Gadling is off limits,” Desire says, and Hob’s blood goes cold. Oh God, if his mother finds out he offered a drink to the actual, literal devil Death is going to have her first escapee from the Sunless Lands just so Hob’s mother can smack him upside the head.
“You defend your brother?” Morningstar asks, head cocked to the side and a little smirk on their face.
Desire throws their head back and laughs. “I don’t care what happens between you and Dream. I’m having quite a lot of fun watching you two snipe at each other.” Desire reaches over the bar and grabs a bottle to inspect the label but seems to grow bored in the space of a breath. “No, Hob Gadling is off limits because while he’s Death’s experiment and Dream’s little pet, he’s my champion. The man is a bottomless pit of avarice,” they say with a grin, and then laugh at the indignant sound Hob makes. He’s really trying to be better. “Not to mention Despair’s love for him. Though she doesn’t visit as often as she used to.”
“She’s busy, I understand if she needs to focus on people who aren’t me,” Hob says because he might as well crack a joke, it’s not like he has the power to kick either of them out of the bar.
“How sweet of you,” Desire says with a smile that’s almost genuinely touched. “I’ll tell her you say hello." They turn back to Morningstar. “Now, we all know you’re going to lose your little fight with Dream.”
“You don’t know that,” Morningstar cuts in.
Desire rolls their eyes. “Yes, we all do. You’ll both deliver some bad wounds but in the end, the Dreaming will be triumphant and you’ll go back with your tail between your legs. And that will be what happens if you fight Dream and he’s alone. What do you think will happen if four of us stand against you? Honestly, leave Hob Gadling alone and find a different way to irritate Dream.”
Morningstar narrows their eyes. “I do not respond well to threats.”
“It’s not a threat. It’s me pointing out some very obvious facts. Advice, really.”
“I might be a little biased but I’d really appreciate being left alone. If Dream and Desire have to work together to defend me he’s never going to let me hear the end of it,” Hob says with a shrug.
Desire laughs loudly and it sounds like music. Not good music, but music. “Oh you’re so right, my dear Hob. He’ll be so annoying if we have to work together.” They turn back to Morningstar with their eyes narrowed. “Though it might be fun to find out if we could completely wipe out Hell with just four of us or if we’ll have to call the other three for help. Either way, might be a fun family bonding activity.” They smile wide and toothy. “Now that was a threat.”
“Very well,” Morningstar concedes and starts to back away from the bar. “Defend your bother’s pet if you wish. But Hell is not as weak as you think.”
“It’s certainly not as strong as you think.”
Once Morningstar has disappeared Desire turns back to Hob. “Well, give Dream my love.”
“Am I really your champion?” Hob asks before they disappear, and they seem to linger just to smile at him.
“Yes,” they say. “Many people are greedy, but you, my dearest Hob, you want things big and intangible, wondrous things. Anyone can want money or power, but you crave all of it. You crave life itself.” Desire makes a loud kissing noise. “Delicious,” they say before disappearing.