Bellamy was standing on the door to the Dropship watching over the Unity Day party. Everyone was drinking and having fun, happily forgetting about their worries in exchange for a cup of Monty’s moonshine and a night without thinking. He hadn’t touched the stuff that night, for reasons other than it tasted like shit. Bellamy was part of the group that was keeping watch and making sure everyone was safe because that was what he was good at. Clarke even said so.
He watched her move through the crowd even as he pretended not to. Her blonde hair was flowing behind her and she looked like a princess even as she pushed her way though the drunk bodies around her. His princess
He stopped the thought before it could go farther (like it had the night before because really who was going to judge him alone in his tent. If he wanted to think about what it would be like to kiss Clarke and call her his princess no one would know.).
“The comms are still dead,” the blond said as she walked up to him. “They cut out during the pageant.”
“Best Unity Day ever,” he said, turning to look at her with as charming a smile as he could muster.
She giggled in response and smiled at him and he knew he had done a good job. They both turned back to the crowd and he kept smiling because he didn’t get to see or hear Clarke laugh often but it was one of his favorite things.
But it was short lived because in no time at all she was turning back to him with a serious look. “Do you really think now’s a good time to be having a party? I mean the grounder is out there.”
“The Grounders,” he corrected. “By now he’s made it home. He’s probably putting together a lynch mob,” he said before thinking. And he had fucked up again because any remnants of a smile disappeared and were replaced by worry and stress. “Relax, we’ve got security covered,” he tried to reassure her.
She nodded but he could tell that he mind was still spinning.
“Why don’t you go get a drink? You look like you could use one,” he tired again and she turned to the crowd and smiled reluctantly.
“I could use more than one.”
“Then have more than one,” he answered with a wide grin to try and make her smile again and she did. The worry disappeared and she laughed again. “Clarke, the Exodus ship carrying your mother comes down here in two days. After that, the party’s over. Have some fun while you still can.” He looked at her for a second, watching her just listen to him, suppressing her own smile. “You deserve it,” he added quietly, like it was there little secret that he had some respect for her.
She dropped her eyes and looked anywhere but him, though he kept his eyes trained on her. “Yeah. Okay.” She turned and walked down the Dropship ramp and he watched her go with a small smile. When her feet touched the ground again she turned around as if she had forgotten something. “So do you, by the way.”
“I’ll have my fun when the Grounder’s come,” he said with a grin and she laughed at him again.
“Alright,” she said before turning around and disappearing into the crowd.
He watched her go with a smile. “Unity Day,” he repeated to himself as he grinned and bit into his apple. His eyes caught on her again when he looked over the crowd. She was smiling and laughing openly as she drank and played game with her people. I love you he thought for a split second, a small smile dancing on his lips.
When he realized what he had just thought he shook his head and banished the idea from his mind.
Bellamy fought against the tears in his eyes just as everyone else fought against the grounders. He made his way back into camp to see the Grounders entering the camp. He caught sight of Clarke for a split second next to Finn before she noticed that he was there.
He wished he could tell her to get in the Dropship and go without him but there was no way that she would hear him over all of the yelling and gunfire. So he picked up a gun and started shooting and hoped that she would get the message. Because he couldn’t leave, not when his sister was out there somewhere with Lincoln fighting for her life. He couldn’t leave while there were still kids fighting for their lives because he had told them to. He couldn’t do that and she was going to have to get the message because there weren’t any other options.
But then the gun he was holding was empty and the Grounder he had aimed at was taking it personally and was methodically beating the shit out of Bellamy and then Finn’s there too and he can vaguely hear Clarke screaming because the only thing worse than watching one of your own be beat to death is to watch the one you love be beat just the same.
He could hear her screaming and then he heard the Dropship door close and he would cross his fingers for luck if he could but he feels like he’s dying and no one can judge a dying man, not even the dying man himself, so he turned his head to look at the Dropship even as Grounders swarmed around it. “I love you,” he whispered to himself and the rockets lite and it no longer mattered what happened to him.
Weeks of listening to Raven and Clarke’s voices through the static of the comms and being the spy within the walls of Mt. Weather had taken its toll on Bellamy’s mind. He felt raw a he stumbled out of the mountain. He tried his very best not to misstep because he could feel the eyes on his back as he lead Grounders and delinquents alike out of their own personal hell.
Now he lead them all away and the fight was over and everyone (most) were safe (relatively). They were met in the woods halfway home by the sound of hoof beats. In half a second (the horse hadn’t even come to a full stop) Clarke was dismounting and running towards them all. She tackled Bellamy in another hug that he returned for only a second because there were people behind him that needed her comfort a lot more than him.
“Good to see you too, princess, but I think Monty and Jasper deserve a hug too,” he whispered in her ear and she seemed to remember where they were and she rushed to her other friends.
A while later they set off again. The Grounders went one way while Clarke and Abby lead the delinquents back to Camp Jaha. When they got back a feast was being prepared and the 47 were ushered into the medbay, though Bellamy opted out.
Hours later when the fire was raring Clarke walked up to him again and Bellamy couldn’t help but think of the first Unity Day on the ground. “I shouldn’t have sent you there,” she said quietly, not quite looking at him.
“I hate to break up the pity party, princess, but I volunteered. You didn’t have anything to do with me going,” he answered, not quite looking at her either. He’d be a liar if he said that he hadn’t been heartbroken when she had said it was worth the risk but he couldn’t undo the past with pretty words.
“I told you to go.”
“And I would have found a way to get you to let me go anyway. We needed an inside man and I was the best bet,” he argued.
“But…”
“Look, princess,” he interrupted. “I was going to go whether you told me to go or not just accept it.” He shot her a smirk and she rolled her eyes.
“You are such an ass sometimes,” she said even though she was smiling.
“Love you, too, princess.”
It wasn’t until the silence stretched on between them that Bellamy realized what he had said.
He stood up suddenly and mumbled something about being tired.
“Bellamy!” she called after him as he hurried across the camp, but he was still hurt and wasn’t quite willing to run away where everyone could see him, though it was a close thing.
She was willing to run though and she caught up with him without much effort.
“Let’s just pretend I didn’t say that,” he said before she even opened her mouth.
“Didn’t say what?” she asked with a smirk.
“Clarke,” he sighed.
“That you love me? Is that what you want to pretend you didn’t say?” she asked and she looked so damn smug.
“Yes,” he ground out.
“Why?”
“Because you don’t love me and that’s okay as long as we pretend I don’t love you,” he said, pushing his way past.
He made it all the way to his tent before he heard her yell for him. “I don’t want to pretend.” He paused even though he knew he would regret it.
She grabbed his shoulder and turned him around to look at her. “I don’t want to pretend you don’t love me because I could, someday. I can’t right now, not after…” she trailed off and he nodded.
“I know,” he said gently and she looked him in the eye with newfound determination.
“But someday soon I might so I won’t forget if you’ll be patient,” she said firmly, a soft, almost hopeful smile playing on her lips.
“I’m not very good at being patient,” he said and he watched her face fall for a second before smirking. “But for you I can be.”
Her face broke into the most beautiful smile he had ever seen and he felt himself copying it.
“Yeah. Okay,” she said, her face tuning red as she realized that what she had said didn’t really make any sense.
“Goodnight, princess,” he said with a laugh.
“Night, Bellamy.”
It was almost a year and a half later when Bellamy found himself in Clarke’s bed with his arms wrapped around her body like they had been for the past three mornings in a row. The morning light is still fuzzy and neither of them have to awake for awhile so they lay there, dozing until she hits his chest to wake him up.
“Bellamy!”
“What, princess? Is your mom trying to be the Chancellor again?” he mumbled into her hair as he pulled her closer.
“Fine. I won’t tell you,” she said with a pout.
“Okay,” he said and hid his grin as he pretended to fall asleep again.
“We both know you want to know,” she said not even two minutes later.
“Then tell me so I can go back to sleep.”
“I love you.”
The whole world froze for a moment as he slowly turned her over so he could look her in the eye.
“Is that what you had to tell me?” he asked with a very serious face.
“Yes.” Her face was plastered with a smug grin.
“And that couldn’t wait another twenty minutes while I finished sleeping?” he asked with a grin.
“I hate you!” she said, hitting his chest and rolling out of bed in one smooth motion.
“No, you love me. You just told me,” he said, standing up and crowding her until she started to back up, both of them grinning.
“I lied.”
“I don’t believe you.”
“Figures,” she said as he wrapped his arms around her and threw her back on the bed.
“Say it again,” he said as he started to pepper her with kisses.
She placed a hand on either side of his face and started him in the eye. “I love you.”
A grin spread across his face that almost made his face hurt. “I love you too.”