sweeter than the dream (the reality of you)

Three days before the official end of their sophomore year Fabian was enjoying his lunch, packed courtesy of Cathilda, peacefully in the lunchroom. Riz was next to him, having his own packed lunch while the rest of their friends were getting theirs from the line. The room was loud and filled with chatting students, most either complaining about their finals or making plans for the summer, but it was quiet as they waited for the rest of the group since Riz was cramming for some final or another and had his head buried in a textbook. Fabian wasn’t worried about his classes and had been happily coasting for the last week.

“When were you going to tell us?” Fig yelled, slamming down her tray, and looming over them. She was quickly followed by an equally looking angry Adaine, Kristen, and Gorgug. Fig and Kristen were glaring at him while Adaine and Gorgug were looking at Riz.

“Tell you what?” Fabian asked.

“About you and Riz!” Fig yelled, throwing up her hands.

“What about us?” The Ball asked.

“You’re dating?” Kristen asked.

Fabian's face went hot. Oh no, oh no, oh no. Did someone find out about his crush? No, that didn’t make sense. That wouldn’t automatically mean they were dating.

“Who told you we were dating?” Riz asked. He was sweating and looked torn between bolting out of the room and squeezing his friends for every bit of information they had.

“Zelda told me,” Gorgug said. “And she heard it from Antiope. Who heard it from a girl in one of her ranger classes who heard it from Riz.”

Riz grimaced. “At no point did I say I was dating Fabian,” he started.

“What?” Adaine asked.

“A girl asked me out this morning and I told her I had a boyfriend,” Riz said with a shrug.

“You have a boyfriend?” Fabian asked, hoping he sounded a normal amount of surprised and not like his heart was breaking. It didn’t matter if it worked because all of their friends were already staring at Riz with wide eyes, completely fixed on him.

“No,” Riz said quietly.

“You made another one up?” Fig asked

“We’ve talked about this, Riz,” Kristen said.

“I really don’t want you to be kidnapped by a mirror Fabian,” Gorgug said.

“I didn’t make anyone up!” Riz argued. “I just didn’t want to hurt her feelings.”

“Riz, you can just say no,” Adaine said. “You don’t have to make excuses.”

“In theory! But like this way I’m not saying no because of her. This way I’m saying no because I’m unavailable,” Riz said.

“This way people think we’re dating,” Fabian said, using his most irritated voice and hoping no one caught on to the cracks he could feel forming in his sanity. People think we’re dating. People think we’re dating. People think we’re dating.

Riz looked up at him, apologetic. “Yeah, sorry.”

Fabian loved parties, and he especially loved parties about him. The school year had just ended, summer vacation was starting, and Fabian was headed to Fallinel for the summer the next day. Tonight was his going away party and he was fairly certain everyone from the school was in his house, drinking and shouting and breaking Gilear’s things.

But Fabian also had a headache forming behind his eyes and the fun was slowly slipping from him every time he remembered that he wasn’t going to see his friends for months. They’d be here hanging out and probably missing him. Maybe missing him. Certainly missing being able to party in his house and with his booze and ride his motorcycle, but a small part he’d tried to smother more times than he could count wondered if they’d miss him.

He couldn’t even distract himself from the spiral because everyone kept asking him about The Ball because they all thought they were dating.

Just for a minute, he snuck away into his room, Adaine had warded it from being accessible to any of the non-Bad Kids before the party started. There were plenty of guest rooms for people to do what they wanted in, he wasn’t going to let them in his room.

It was empty, which wasn’t a surprise since he was pretty sure he’d just seen everyone downstairs. It was also blessedly quiet. He dug around in his backpack for a small healing potion Kristen had made for him. She’d started making him some when he’d complained about getting headaches ever since they’d returned from spring break, and had made him a fresh batch for his trip. He downed it and instantly his headache started to fade. Still, he needed a break and went out onto the balcony where he could still hear the party but could relax for a second.

“You okay?” Riz asked, making Fabian jump. Fabian turned around to see him curled up on the lounge chair staring up at him with his head cocked to one side.

“Fucking hell, The Ball. What are you doing up here?”

He shrugged one shoulder. “You said we could use your room to chill out if the party got too much. I can go.” He started to stand up but Fabian just grabbed him by the shoulder and forced him to sit back down.

“Stay. I was just surprised. I thought you were downstairs with everyone else.” Fabian leaned back against the railing and took a deep breath of the summer air. It was nice, a little chilly after a warm day.

Riz shook his head. “I drank too much. Made myself sad. Needed to clear my head before I brought the whole party down,” he said with a laugh.

“Sad about what?”

Riz cocked his head to one side again. “You’re leaving tomorrow. I’m going to miss you.”

Fabian’s heart melted and his throat closed up. Riz never said the right thing when he meant to, but when he wasn’t thinking about it, when he just let it happen he always said exactly what Fabian needed to hear. Or not hear. Sometimes it was actions, like watching over him after the first battle with Captain Whitclaw or trying his very best to dance in the early morning light while Fabian danced with his family. Riz always knew exactly what Fabian needed and always gave it. Fabian cleared his throat and forced himself to smile. “Of course you’re going to miss me! I’m great!”

Riz rolled his eyes.

It was quiet for a minute while they listened to the party downstairs. Someone had put on Fig and Gorgug’s first album and half the party was singing along.

“At least we have all our crystals up on Gorgug’s parents' satellite,” Fabian said, which was the closest he’d come to admitting that he was going to miss everyone too.

Riz laughed. “Yeah, I’m gonna have to call you when I get stuck on a conspiracy board instead of just offering to let you copy my math homework to get you to listen to me.”

Fabian shook his head, warmth filling him. Riz did offer to let Fabian copy his math homework if he came to his office and listened to him talk about his conspiracy board to work out whatever mystery he was working on. The only problem was that Fabian was much better at math than Riz, and half the time he had to redo problems because Riz had done them wrong. “I don’t even say anything! Half the time I’m sleeping.”

“I know.” Riz shrugged. “Maybe your snores just help me focus.”

“I do not snore!”

“You totally snore!”

“Do not!” Fabian yelled.

“FABIAN!” Kristen’s voice came from the yard below.

He pointed and shook his head at Riz before turning around and leaning over the rail. “WHAT?”

“IT’S YOUR PARTY! Get down here!” she yelled up.

“I’ll be down in a sec!” he yelled back, waving a hand at them. He turned back to Riz. “You ready?”

Riz shook his head. “If we leave your room together people are going to think we’re dating even more than they already do.”

Fabian shrugged off his letterman jacket. “Let them,” he said, throwing his jacket at Riz, covering his face for a second so that Fabian didn’t have to look at him while he said, “You can tell people we’re dating while I’m gone if you want. Since you can’t just tell people no like a normal person.”

Riz tore the jacket off from his head, it made his hair fly everywhere and his face looked a little flushed, though it was dark and hard to tell. “Are you sure? It won’t ruin your reputation?”

“No worse than being your best friend already has,” Fabian said with a laugh.

Riz stood up on the chair, holding the jacket uncomfortably in his hands. “Thanks, man. I know I gotta figure it out sometime but like...I’ve never been popular before and it’s weird and I don’t really like it.”

Fabian gently took the jacket back then held it up for Riz to put his arms through, shaking his head and pretending to be exasperated when he was charmed. “Is that why you’re still in the AV club, trying to drag down your own popularity?”

Riz put on the jacket and Fabian’s heart nearly stopped. He looked so small and vulnerable yet protected in the jacket that was far too big for him. Mine some vicious part of Fabian’s brain growled. “No. Maybe. Whatever,” Riz said, looking like he was trying to hide in the jacket.

Fabian shook his head, laughing. “Come on, boyfriend. It’s my party I can’t miss the whole thing making out with you upstairs.”

“Changed my mind,” Riz squeaked as he followed. “You’re gonna be the worst about this.”

Fabian just grinned at him and tugged at the jacket before walking away, hoping his face wasn’t too red.

Riz stared up at the ceiling of his room, listless. It was the beginning of the summer, just four days in, and he was bored. With no schoolwork, all he had was his cases. But his caseload primarily consisted of Fig’s continued paranoia about Porter who continued to do nothing but take care of his community.

If he wanted a new case he knew he’d have to get out of bed and go find it but he couldn’t seem to make himself. He was tired but as usual couldn’t sleep. Insomnia had always been a problem for him but had only gotten worse after Spring Break.

When school was still going on he could at least catch a few hours here and there when he was hanging out with his friends. They all had a tendency to fall asleep on each other while studying, living in a van together for two weeks had pretty much wiped out what was left of their senses of personal space.

Now his room was too quiet and all the white noise apps he’d downloaded on his crystal were grating. He’d tried crystal-casts or sleeping in front of the TV, but that didn’t work either. So he was just exhausted, light streaming in through the window as he stared up at the ceiling, finding pointless patterns in the popcorn texture.

A part of him wondered if he should just text some of his friends and see if they wanted to hang out, but he had yet to figure out what it was that people did to hang out when there wasn’t an objective. He had no adventure to offer them, no mystery to reel them in and keep them with him. He picked up his phone and scrolled through his messages to see if there was a good gateway that he could exploit, left open by how absolutely terrible he could be at returning texts.

When he didn’t find one he forced himself out of bed. Maybe he would feel better after he ate and drank some coffee. It was noon already and his mom was already at work.

He poured himself a cup of coffee from the pot that she had made that morning, ice-cold by now. For a second he considered drinking it cold but then put it in the microwave to warm it up. Drinking it cold felt a little too much like a Gilear move.

His phone buzzed as he was pulling the mug out of the microwave, a text from Fig in a new group chat that was all the Bad Kids except for Fabian. hey boys adaine kristen and i are gonna go see a movie today you in?

Before Riz could even reply that he would very much like to do that the group chat was renamed by Kristen “TBK – 1 :(“.

what time? Riz asked just so that he didn’t sound like too much a nerd with none of his own shit going on.

Movie starts at 2 thinking of getting food at the diner beforehand Adaine texted.

I’ve got the sneaking in candy thing coveredKristen added.

Sounds good to me. Want me to pick everyone up? Gorgug chimed in.

I could use a ride if it’s not a problem Riz texted.

I can pick you up on the way to the manor Gorgug said. Be there in like 30?

Sounds good Riz texted, already rushing to the shower.

When he’d finished showering and changing he checked the text thread while he chugged the last of his coffee.

Sweet see you in a bit! Kristen texted.

I just ordered our tickets ahead with reserved seats so we can eat as long as we like and should still have good spots Adaine texted.

Awesome. Where are we eating? Gorgug texted.

that slappy mcfinnigans in the mall parking lot Fig texted. A bolt of anxiety shot down Riz’s spine but he didn’t know exactly why.

There was an auto-reply text from Gorgug saying he was driving. The Hangvan had started doing that and was actually getting pretty good at guessing who was driving these days. When he’d first started doing that he’d do it to every crystal in the van which had gotten very annoying very quickly.

Then there was another text for Gorgug just to Riz that said outside your place

on my way down he shot back, pulling on his shoes and trying to remember what was wrong with Slappy McFinnigans. He had his hand on the front doorknob when he remembered that that was where Lulmulda worked, the girl who had asked him out a last week and had assumed he was dating Fabian.

He hesitated for a moment, remembering how everyone had looked at him when he’d come downstairs with Fabian from his room wearing Fabian’s jacket. It had been odd, like he was the center of attention but also no one wanted to look at him too long in case they got caught staring. Maybe it was a good cover, and Fabian had said that he could use it. The rest of the Bad Kids knew it was a farce but didn’t seem inclined to make anyone else aware of that.

He dashed back into his room and grabbed the jacket from where it had been hanging the past few days and then tore out the door to make up the time he’d spent indecisive. It was cold in movie theaters anyway.

He hopped in the front seat next to Gorgug who smiled at him and then cocked his head to the side when he saw the jacket.

“The girl who told everyone Fabian's my boyfriend works at the Slappy McFinnigans,” he explained, hoping that Gorgug would let it go.

Gorgug nodded and pulled into the street. “Are you just going to pretend to date Fabian all summer?”

Riz shrugged. “Not the whole summer. Why? Did he tell you he didn’t really want me to? Because I can leave this in here and not do it. I know he’d been drinking even if he seemed pretty sober when he said it.”

Gorgug shrugged. “He didn’t say anything to me. Just seems like maybe this isn’t the best way to deal with the situation.”

Riz had to give it to him, there had to be dozens of better ways to deal with the situation. Unfortunately, Riz was already holding the jacket and the soft feel and light smell of Fabian was reducing his ability to think. “Probably. But this is the easiest.”

Gorgug shrugged again. “I guess.” They were quiet for a moment. “Do you know what movie we’re seeing?” he asked suddenly.

“Actually, no.”

When the girls piled into the car there was a fair amount of ribbing about the jacket, including a very wide grin from Fig. But then Kristen started crying about how she used to wear Tracker’s jacket and the focus was redirected. Tracker had left with Fabian but her goodbye had been quieter, somber, and filled with crying the actual morning of leaving. Riz hadn’t even wanted to be there, too many emotions flying around, but Kristen had asked for the company and he would never turn her down even if she already lived with a ton of people. They’d all piled into the living room, under piles and piles of blankets, and held Kristen while she’d alternated between vacant staring and sobbing uncontrollably.

Quietly crying in the backseat of the van was a marked improvement.

“We can get you extra mozzarella sticks,” Riz said, unsure if that was comforting. He really needed to figure out how to do this if he was going to be friends with people who dated. Because it was his job to deal with the fallout.

“And jalapeno poppers?” Kristen asked.

“As many as you can stomach,” Fig said, rubbing a comforting hand up and down her back.

“You guys are the best.”

When they got to the restaurant in the parking lot of the mall Riz was going to leave it in the van but Kristen grabbed it and threw it at him. “If I can’t wear Tracker’s jacket anymore at least you can wear Fabian’s.”

“Fabian and I aren’t actually dating,” Riz said, pulling on the jacket.

“Not according to the whole school. Even some Hudal people were at that party and said you two were very cute together,” Adaine said with a grin.

“I think it might actually be a double bluff,” Fig said. “Because neither of them are that good of actors.”

“You guys are the worst.”

“I told you it was a terrible idea,” Gorgug said with a smile. They cut off the conversation as they walked in and saw Lulmulda working as the hostess.

“Hey! Just the five of you? Oh right, Fabian’s in Fallinel.” she asked with a wide smile, pointed mostly at Riz who was practically drowning in Fabian’s jacket.

“Yeah,” Kristen said, choking up a little. “Everyone we love is in Fallinel.”

Lulmulda gave Kristen a sad and confused smile. For a split second, Riz wondered if the rumor was going to morph that Kristen and Riz were dating Fabian. She sat them at a back table and they put in the order of mozzarella sticks and jalapeno poppers.

“And if you have a like huge commemorative cup with like umbrellas and silly straws if you could fill it with lemonade that’d be great,” Adaine asked, with a smile.

“Oh I love paper umbrellas,” Kristen said with a smile, forgetting about her sadness for a second.

“I’ll see what I can find,” Lulmulda said before she went back to the kitchen.

Eventually, they all just ate an obscene amount of cheese sticks and jalapeno poppers while Kristen drank out of a cup shaped like a cauldron until it was time for the movie. It was a horror slasher that after the adventures they’d lived through seemed a lot less scary. Riz was having a hard time focusing on the scary slasher parts at all because the mystery they put forward didn’t actually make sense and he kept trying to unwind it even though he knew it was a waste.

By the time the movie was out and they'd stopped at Brasar’s for ice cream that they barely touched, still full from the cheese sticks, it was late. Gorgug drove the girls home first and then Riz, quiet and tired.

Once he made it upstairs he waved to his mom and then went straight to his room. He barely managed to toe off his shoes before he collapsed face-first into his bed, asleep and still wrapped in Fabian’s jacket.

Fabian had been in Fallinel for two weeks and he was pretty much over it. The training itself was fine, his aunt Vanleliel was a bard who had tried to heal his pneumonia with singing, but as soon as she’d seen him dance fighting with his sheet she’d been fascinated and decided to lead his training.

She was a better fighter than a singer and had been putting him through his paces. And she would sometimes drop stories about when she had been a pirate, on a ship with Halleriel before his mother had met Bill on Leviathan. But the training wasn’t good enough to make up for literally every other person on the property.

No one could say his name right, they ate an ungodly amount of grapes, and whenever he spoke to someone his age they’d make a weird comment about his mortality and he’d lose all interest in continuing the conversation. He’d thought about his death enough on his own, he didn't need a bunch of horny elvish teens getting off on it. Adaine was never this weird about the fact that her friends all had expiration dates and he missed her terribly every time someone said anything about it.

There was only one person his age that he’d met the whole time he was there that was normal about his mortality. Taeral still couldn’t say Fabian correctly, but they tried and they rolled their eyes whenever one of the other people made a remark about how fragile Fabian must be. Their mom was the trade minister or something so they had spent a lot of time traveling and meeting people who weren’t elves and claimed that that was all it took, a little perspective to not be so damn weird about mortals.

Fabian snapped awake with laughter echoing in his ears. Chunngledown Bim’s, Whitclaw’s, Cathilda’s, Goldenhoard’s, and his father’s voices overlapping and echoing until he’d shaken off the last dregs of sleep. Then it was just him alone, panting loudly as he tried to catch his breath.

With a look out his window, he could tell that it was still early, the sky just turning gray with the dawn. He checked his crystal just to see if anyone else had sent anything interesting while he’d slept, or was still awake since all the Bad Kids slept like shit these days, but there were no new texts so he forced himself out of bed.

As they had been wrapping up training the night before Vanleliel had declared that he needed to rest and had threatened to give his crystal to some of the youths if he didn’t comply.

Kei Lumennura really was a beautiful place, and he was in a much better spot mentally to appreciate it than he had the first time he’d been there. Now he could enjoy the sparkle of magic in the air, the softness of the grass, and the way the giant trees made him feel small in the most comforting way.

The treeline broke on a small clearing with five small pools divided by large rocks with steam rising from the water up in graceful curls. There was no one else there luckily and he settled down into his favorite one that had a slab of rock that was just the right height for him under the water. As soon as he was shoulder deep in the water his muscles relaxed and his exhaustion took hold, making his eyes droop.

As much as he loved training and the spotlight that training in the middle of the field gave him, he was tired. He was a bard now, and performance had always come second nature to him but having eyes on him all the time was tiring without his friends around. At school when people watched them and whispered he preened, because yes they were the best and bravest and he wanted to show off both himself and his friends. Now when people sat in the grass while he tried to cast magic he was just learning it felt like a pitying wonder, like they saw him as a funny little thing they couldn't understand but would also never respect.

After a while the silence of the morning started to press in on him, unsettling the small peace he found.

Silence had been a rare thing in his life until after his father had died and it had been cloying ever since. Spring Break hadn’t helped, when the only time it was quiet was when people were sleeping and in danger of being possessed, or when you were alone which never panned out well for them.

He opened his eyes and focused on the sounds of the forest behind him, convincing himself again that no one was lurking. Without thinking one hand came up out of the warm water to touch the half heart that hung around his neck.

Immediately, something buried deep in his chest settled.

He ran his thumb across the edge of the heart, feeling the engraving of “st ends” on the face of it, thinking of Riz somewhere in Solace wearing the other half. A blooming warmth settled in his chest. It reminded him of the way his mind would growl “mine” whenever he saw Riz in his jacket. The same but also opposite. Like instead of claiming it was giving up; saying “yours.”

A few yards away he heard the sound of voices coming and he started to plot his escape. At some point, he was going to have to get over his dislike of everyone else there or he was going to be miserable the whole summer, but right then he didn’t want to see anyone but Riz. Or baring that, any of his friends.

He turned around as the voices came through into the clearing and saw his grandfather and his aunt coming over. Okay, they were fine. Maybe he’d get a story about his mother and father during their pirating days.

“Shall we join you?” his grandfather asked, though he was already settling into the hot spring across from Fabian and stretching out.

“Of course! Far too quiet out here by myself this morning,” Fabian said with a big grin.

“You are up quite early for a day of rest. I was under the impression that humans require eight hours of sleep per night,” his aunt said, settling into the water as well.

“Habit to wake up this early so I thought I would take advantage of the spring while it was empty,” he said with a smile.

“A beautiful morning for such a moment of peace,” his grandfather said, laying his head back and basking in the dawn’s light.

His aunt smiled at Fabian and relaxed for a moment before her eyes settled on the necklace he was still unconsciously fiddling with.

“What is that?” she asked.

“It’s just a friendship necklace from The Ball.”

“Oh, the little one you’re in love with gave you a necklace. Young love is so tender and sweet,” his grandfather said softly.

Fabian coughed hard twice. “I never said I was in love with The Ball.”

“When he was here last week,” his grandfather started and Fabian mentally corrected to three months ago. “it was so clear with the way that you looked at him. Even when he danced so horribly.”

“He is a terrible dancer,” Fabian said, hoping that the heat of the pool was helping to disguise the reason for his blush. He looked to his aunt. “Was it that obvious?”

She nodded, smiling softly. “It is something that those closest often miss,” she said, like that made it less embarrassing.

Fabian was quiet for a second, debating with himself if it was even worth asking the question he wanted to. They’d lived a long time but they were also so weird. “Have either of you ever fallen in love with your best friend? Like...you live a long time so I thought maybe…”

His grandfather and aunt both laughed. “Like the sun rises and the moon waxes and wanes people fall in love with their friends,” his grandfather said with a smile.

It took Fabian a second to work out what he was saying. “Does it work out? Like...did it ever go well to like you know...tell them?”

“All relationships end, but it is the journey that is important,” his aunt said. “I have been alive for many centuries and loved many of my friends. I have married many of my friends.”

Fabian considered that for a moment, but he was pretty sure his aunt was single. “But you’re not married to any now?”

“Not currently.”

“Are you still friends?”

“With some. Relationships, like time, are fluid,” she said softly. It seemed to truly not matter to her that she was no longer friends with these people who had been so important to her.

Fabian didn’t think he’d ever be able to brush off losing Riz the way she seemed able to brush off her friends. Riz was his best friend, Riz was one of the first people to look at Fabian and see him for what he was. Fabian had teased and bullied him, yet Riz had always stood by him, always thinking that maybe he was better than even Fabian thought.

Not to mention if Fabian ever lost Riz, there’d be a crack in the Bad Kids and it would be all Fabian’s fault. Losing Riz would mean losing all of them and that wasn’t a risk Fabian would ever be able to stomach. He needed to get over it.

He was going to get over it.

Six weeks into summer break and Riz was still bored. He’d picked up a few cases, but nothing terribly interesting; a missing cat here, a broken window there. Nothing that got his blood pumping and his mind spinning. His mom said that was good, that he was supposed to be relaxing.

The highlight had been one short recon mission for his dad about a week before, but it’d taken him all of two days and then they were done.

It was early evening and he’d just finished wrapping up the case of the missing family cookbook that had disappeared after the death of some old lady so he was headed home. He was wearing Fabian’s jacket which maybe he was doing a touch too often, but his friends weren’t around to tease him about it and it was comfortable.

He opened the front door and his mom was already sitting on the couch studying. They had enough that she didn’t have to work as much as she had been, which Riz loved. He had received a portion of the bounty that pretty much every country had offered for the defeat of the Nightmare King. She was adamant that most of it go to his college fund, but she let him spend enough of it to keep them comfortable while she worked part-time and studied.

“Hey, you’re home early,” she said, turning to smile at him.

“Found the cookbook,” Riz said, flopping down on the other end of the couch.

She smiled and hummed. “Where was it?”

“Grandkid took it. Hid it in the locker at the bus station,” Riz said with a shrug.

“Good work,” she said, eyeing him carefully. “Cold outside?”

Riz looked down at the jacket and resisted the urge to pull it tighter around himself. “A little.”

“It’s the middle of the summer.”

“I was cold. It was the only jacket I had in my briefcase,” Riz lied. He carried at least three sweaters in his briefcase at all times and also a rain jacket.

Sklonda hummed. “You know...after you told me you thought you were ace I did some research, I’m not totally clueless,” she said.

Riz blinked a little at the abrupt change in topic. “...okay?”

“I’m just saying that I understand that ace people also sometimes date. And if you were dating Fabian I would be happy for you and you wouldn’t have to lie to me about it,” she said.

Riz’s ears went hot. “I’m not dating, Fabian! I told you! He’s letting me pretend we’re dating while he’s away so that people don’t ask me out when I don’t want them to.”

She sighed. “At some point, we’re going to circle back to the fact that you think you need an excuse to turn people down.”

Riz groaned and threw his head back against the couch so he didn’t have to look at his mom anymore. Gods, he hated talking to her about this. She was always so logical and reasonable and from Riz’s understanding relationships were neither of those things.

“But I think it’s more interesting that you’re wearing it when it’s just the two of us. You’ve been wearing it a lot. Sometimes just sitting on the couch on your crystal,” she pointed out with a shrug.

Riz hit his head against the couch once instead of responding. He considered trying to stealth away and hide but she was too smart for that and he’d be caught before he got far.

“If you need a new jacket we can go to the mall and get you one.”

“All my jackets are fine.”

“You just like Fabian’s most?”

Riz opened his mouth to disagree but just sighed. “Maybe? I mean. What would it even matter?”

“I think it would matter a lot to Fabian who is letting you wear his jacket so that other people think he’s staking a claim on you,” she said in the voice she used whenever she thought she was putting a clue right in front of him to grab. He ignored it.

“Fabian’s just being nice because he’s gone and so it doesn’t affect him.” He didn’t mention that over the past few weeks Fabian had been a little slower to respond to Riz whenever he texted. Even back when they’d barely known each other Fabian had responded quickly, that was just the type of texter he was, but these days something had changed. “We’re going to tell everyone we broke up once he’s back and school starts again.”

Sklonda sighed. “If that’s what you want.”

Riz nodded. Of course it was what he wanted. It was what Fabian wanted and what made Fabian happy was what Riz wanted.

It was a few days before it came up again. Riz didn’t wear the jacket as much, though that also got a pointed look from his mother. It was still in his briefcase, ready for any moment when it got chilly or Riz was alone and just wanted some comfort. Being wrapped in it was like getting a hug without having to worry about what to do with his hands.

But then it was movie night at Mordred Manor and as soon as he walked in he was hit by a wall of freezing cold air. “I could just warm it up,” Fig said to Adaine as Riz and Gorgug came through the door.

“The last time you warmed things up you lit the couch on fire,” Adaine pointed out. “Just put on a sweater.”

“Why is it so cold in here?” Riz asked as he jumped over the back of the couch to sit in his usual corner, setting his briefcase to the side of the couch so it didn’t trip anyone.

“Adaine and Aelwyn were dueling and someone decided to cast a cone of cold in the living room,” Fig said with a glare.

“What were you fighting about now?” Riz asked, shivering again, and reached into his briefcase to get something to warm him up. His fingers closed around Fabian’s jacket but he only gave himself half a second of embarrassed hesitation before he pulled it out. It wasn’t like no one had seen him wear it before, and everyone there knew it was just a friend thing. Besides, it must have been cold because Gorgug had pulled the sleeves of his hoodie over his hands and put his hood up.

“See what you’ve done? Now Riz is wearing Fabian’s coat. That’s how cold it is in here,” Fig said.

Adaine ignored her. “We weren’t fighting. Aelwyn’s GED test is next week so we were studying,” Adaine said, glaring at Fig.

“I can’t believe they’re still making her take the test. She was on the tape helping us fight your mom and the Nightmare King,” Gorgug said, shaking his head.

“They wouldn’t budge. Apparently, the GED requirements are very specific,” Adaine said, plopping down on the couch between Riz and Gorgug. “I have extra sweaters if either of you want one. I can enlarge it for you, Gorgug.”

“I’m okay,” he said, settling a little bit further into the couch.

Kristen came into the room with two huge bowls of popcorn and five floating mugs of hot chocolate behind her, probably an unseen servant from Adaine. She settled on Gorgug’s other side, passing down the popcorns while their hot chocolate was distributed. Fig settled into the other corner and a few seconds later they were all squished together. The couch really wasn’t built for five people, somewhere closer to three, but it had the best view of the TV.

“Well aren’t you all just cozy,” Jawbone said as he came around the corner.

Everyone beamed up at him.

“Just missing one more,” he said.

“Oh! Take our picture and we can send it to him!” Kristen said, handing her phone over to Jawbone. “Let him know we miss him.”

Jawbone took the crystal and everyone squished even closer together and smiled at the camera. He handed Kristen back her crystal and waved goodnight to all of them since he was headed out to meet some friends.

A few seconds later everyone’s crystals dinged with a text from Kristen in the group chat. It was the picture of all of them with the message WE MISS YOU!!!!!!

And then a few seconds later Fabian sent his own picture, his arm around his grandfather who seemed to be talking to someone else out of frame, but Fabian smiling wide at the camera. Miss you too! He won’t stop talking about flower petals.

Riz won’t take off your jacket, Fig texted back.

“Fuck off,” Riz said out loud before he texted, It happens to be FREEZING in the manor because SOMEONE has been sparing with their sister.

And you own no other jackets? Adaine texted.

It was the first jacket I pulled out of my briefcase! Riz texted

Don’t get popcorn grease on my jacket, The Ball, Fabian shot back.

It’s been covered in blood and you’re worried about butter from popcorn? Gorgug texted.

Cathilda is a master of getting out stains. I suppose if you want to take the jacket back to the manor for her to clean you could, Fabian texted back.

Kristen blew a raspberry.

Just because you can’t do your own laundry doesn’t mean the rest of us can’t, Adaine texted.

Why would I interfere in an experts work?

Fuck off! Kristen texted, making everyone in the room laugh.

I don’t think I miss you anymore, Fig texted followed by three laughing emojis.

I don’t need you people. The hangman probably misses me, Fabian texted.

He almost ran me over today when I went to take him on a ride! Fig texted. Fig had been put in charge of taking care of the Hangman while Fabian was gone and it was not going well.

And I think he hates Riz more than he did before you left, Fig added.

“Which I didn’t even know was possible!” Riz texted and said out loud.

Stay away from my bike, The Ball.

I didn’t do anything to him!

I don’t believe you, Fabian texted.

“Yeah,” Adaine said out loud looking up at him. “Did you like kick him or something?”

“No!” Riz yelled.

Adaine sent the unseen servant to start the movie but they were all still texting Fabian.

He even likes Aelwyn better than you Riz and she’s Fabian's actual ex, Adaine texted.

Stupid bike. I went to hell with that bike and he still hates me, Riz texted. He turned himself a little bit more into the corner so that Adaine wouldn’t be able to see over his shoulder as he scrolled back up in the chat while people started to theorize why the Hangman hated Riz above all others. Something had been off about the picture and once he looked at it again he immediately saw what it was.

Fabian was in his black tank top as he usually was, but instead of the flash of silver that usually sat around his neck, there was nothing. He wasn’t wearing the friendship necklace Riz had given him.

Riz tried not to panic because he was still pressed very close to Adaine and she would certainly notice if he gave any outward sign of just how much his realization stung.

The slower messages made sense now, Fabian was distancing himself. Maybe the jacket thing had been too far. After all, he’d mentioned it before anything else about the picture they’d sent. He probably hated seeing Riz in it, regretted his decision completely.

Riz took a deep breath, smiling at Adaine when she shot him a weird look for it, and then caught back up in the text thread. He didn’t respond, let everyone else do the talking for him.

If distance was what Fabian wanted then Riz would respect that.

Things had been...weird the past few weeks. Training was still going well, he’d mastered a few new spells and his fighting was still as strong as ever, but the rest of Fabian’s life had gotten weird.

He’d decided he needed to get over Riz since he had no interest in breaking up their friendship, and had followed all the instructions from the internet about how to do it. He’d taken off the friendship necklace and tucked it safely into the bottom of his bag so that he could put it back on when he was ready. He’d worked at his training until his limbs shook from exhaustion. He’d stopped texting Riz whenever the fancy struck him and was forcing himself to slow down in responding to them when he got the text. He’d pushed past the general disdain he had for the elven youths around him and had gone to a few parties, gotten some kisses even.

None of it really made him feel better. Mostly taking off the necklace and not texting made him miss Riz. When he was at parties or was training things were better, he had something else to focus on, but then the party would end or the training would stop and he’d be back where he started.

And none of that accounted for the absolute heartbreak when he’d gotten the text from movie night of the whole group on the couch, snuggled up together just like they always were whenever they watched something at Mordred Manor instead of Seacaster Manor. Loneliness struck him in the chest like a knife, wanting so badly to be in that pile of people he loved. They’d thought of him, they'd missed him and that counted for something. But as he’d looked at Adaine’s blue hair, and Kristen’s new bangs, and Gorgug’s new hoodie, and Fig’s new earnings he’d known he was missing so much, that things were happening and he was hearing about them long after they happened. Not to mention the little part of his mind still growled when he’d noticed that Riz was in his jacket, curled up almost entirely inside of it in the corner of the couch.

They’d kept up the group chat with him for the rest of the night, telling him about what they were watching and asking how things were in Fallinel. They’d all said they were excited to see him when he came home and Fabian had never been more excited that the summer was passing quickly.

But after that was when things had started to get weird. Not with anyone else, just with Riz. After that night Riz had all but stopped texting Fabian. Now unless it was a direct question there was only a fifty-fifty chance that Riz answered at all. The most recent texts were just Fabian saying “Hey” and then an hour later Riz saying “Hey” and nothing else.

And then a week after the movie night text there’d been a party at Mordred Manor for Aelwyn getting her GED and Fabian hadn’t been able to help scrolling through the pictures the next morning on his crystal, smiling to himself the whole time. It seemed like everyone was there, laughing and having a good time, Aelwyn wearing a graduation hat and Adaine smiling wide and proud next to her in almost every picture. Fig and Gorgug had played a set at some point, with Ragh dancing badly with Kristen. Riz wasn’t in as many pictures which was pretty normal, shy and stealthy as he was. But he was in a few and this time he wasn’t wearing Fabian’s jacket. Which was normal, Fabian reminded himself over and over again. It was the middle of the summer it was probably warm, even at night. And there was no one there to trick into thinking he was dating Fabian, everyone there knew Riz was single and ace and generally uninterested, so there was no reason for him to wear the jacket. Even still the thought had bothered him all day, like a sliver in his hand that he couldn’t quite get a grip on to remove.

That night he went to a party just to distract himself and get back on track for Operation Get Over Riz.

The more time he spent with the other youths in Kei Lumennura the more he liked them, some of them were still weird and shitty, but they were getting used to him and that made it a little easier to be around them.

He was making out with someone named Rolim, a ways away from the party where they could barely hear the laughter and shouting of the main party. It was fine and Fabian was enjoying himself, but it reminded him of when he had to fight for school instead of because he wanted to. There was something empty about it, hallow in a way he didn’t like. When Rolim slipped his hand under Fabian’s shirt, before he could do anything about it, Fabian tensed up at the unexpected touch. Usually, if he had time to think about it first so he didn’t tense, damnit.

Rolim pulled back and cocked his head to the side. It was a familiar look on his face, one that Fabian had seen a lot in the past few weeks from people who wanted to move from kissing to sex. “No, thank you,” Fabian said with a shrug. He still wasn’t quite sure how to get the words out of his mouth without tripping over his own tongue. No one had given him shit about it, but it had yet to stop feeling like he was disappointing someone.

Rolim shrugged. “Okay, I’m going back to the party,” he said turning away with a look on his face that Fabian couldn’t quite discern.

It reminded him of the way Aelwyn had smiled at him two days after they’d had sex for the first time and told him they would never do it again. “I prefer my partners a little more enthusiastic. And you acted as if it was a chore.” She was right, of course. He’d never tell her that he’d felt nothing more than a sense of accomplishment after having lost his virginity.

Fabian leaned back against the tree for a moment longer before he headed back to the party, a little irritated with himself. It wasn’t that he’d wanted to have sex with Rolim, that he didn’t really care about. More he was chasing the feeling of butterflies in his throat that came over him when he thought about Riz in any kind of non-friendship way.

It wasn’t like it was for Riz or Adaine who never felt that way about anyone because Fabian knew he could feel that way. And he liked feeling that way. He just didn’t feel that way about the right people, but he was trying. Trying so damn hard.

Back at the party Taeral who was the only person in Kei Lumennura who he actually liked that he wasn’t related to was sitting by the bonfire, staring into the flames.

Fabian got a cup of something alcoholic from the barrel a few feet away and sat heavily next to them.

“How’d it go with Rolim?” they asked with a knowing smile.

“Shut up,” Fabian said, taking a swig of the drink and barely stopping himself from coughing. The alcohol was god-awful but that was what he got for drinking booze distilled in the literal woods, he supposed.

Taeral laughed at him but didn’t say anything else.

After a while, Fabian gave in. “Is it supposed to be that...fucking…” the first word that came to mind was boring but that wasn’t quite right. He waved his hands around to try to get his point across when no better word came.

Taeral looked at him for a moment, their head cocked to the side but still smiling. “It’s not supposed to be anything. It’s all a neutral act. It only has the meaning you assign to it.”

Fabian sighed. That didn’t really answer his question.

They ran their shoulder into Fabian and waited for Fabian to look back at them before they smiled. “Solace is weird, man. About everything but especially about sex and love and all that shit. Cisheteronormativity is so weird. Like the baronies and a little bit of the Frostheim have it too so I don’t know if it just comes from biological pressure to procreate which elves aren’t as susceptible to, though your proportion of what you consider queer people to cishet people is about the same as what we have here in Fallinel so-”

“Next time you’re in Solace you and Kristen should hang out,” Fabian interrupted because if he didn’t Taeral would get into a very deep conversation about queer studies that Fabian just wasn’t equipped for.

“I’m going to get my mother to get me a crystal the next time she’s there so I can bug all your friends,” Taeral laughed.

“It won’t work here. Only mine and my friends' crystals work outside of Solace,” Fabian said with a grin. Maybe he could get the Thistlesprings to let him hook up another one to their satellite for Taeral if he asked nicely. He wasn’t really sure if there was a maximum that could be attached but it couldn’t hurt to ask.

“Why is that?”

“My friend’s parents have a satellite,” Fabian explained.

“And what’s a satellite?”

Fabian shrugged. “It’s what makes my crystal work.”

Taeral laughed, throwing their head back. It was a nice laugh and paired with the way the firelight danced over their face it almost made something in Fabian’s stomach flutter. “Anyway, what I was saying is that maybe it’s not the act that is so unsatisfying but the company that you keep. Demi.”

“What?” Fabian asked, not having been fully paying attention.

“You might be demisexual. Only experiencing attraction to someone after you’ve formed an emotional bond. And since you refuse to form an emotional bond to anyone here-”

“No one will shut up about my mortality,” Fabian countered.

“Have you tried stabbing them and reminding them of their own mortality?” Taeral countered, laughing again when Fabian considered it.

It really was a nice laugh, and this time with them looking at him in the firelight and music coming from somewhere on the other side of the bonfire Fabian could imagine a world where he had a crush on Taeral instead of Riz.

Yeah, Fabian could be over Riz. If Taeral kept laughing like that.

would sit at his desk for a while, refresh his email, go to the mini-fridge to see if there was anything in there he wanted to eat, wander past the three boards from completed cases he still had up, and then go back to his desk and check his email again.

It was so boring he thought his brain was going to melt. He missed school, at least when he was bored with his cases during school he could force himself to work on his classwork. Now he just had to sit with it, staring at the walls wishing there was something more interesting to do.

He picked up his crystal but the last text he’d gotten was from the group chat making plans for two days from then. Which would be nice, that would at least be a distraction. And he missed his friends.

They were busy and it wasn’t their fault that his caseload was quite so light.

He closed the minifridge again and considered making a cup of coffee, maybe the caffeine would jolt some idea loose from his brain but as he thought about it he knew it would just make him anxious to have all that energy and nowhere to put it. It was a thought process he’d run through four times in the last hour.

He walked by the boards and stopped, considering them. Riz liked to leave them up for a while after he’d closed a case just to see if anything extra would come to mind, but the cases were open and shut, no loose ends.

Finally, he went back to his office but instead of sitting down again he grabbed his briefcase and headed out the door. His eyes only caught on Fabian’s jacket hanging from the coat rack for a second before he went through the door. Which was an improvement over two weeks ago when he had stared at it for nearly a whole minute before he’d been able to make himself leave it behind.

The bus home was blessedly empty and he was able to get home without anyone jostling him or giving his briefcase a dirty look for being in their way. There was the faint sound of music coming from his apartment which let him know that his mom was probably studying so he slipped in as quietly as he could.

Unfortunately, she seemed to be a little bit psychic and looked up at him with a smile as soon as the door opened.

“Hey, kiddo, how you doing?”

Riz shrugged. “Okay. What are you working on?”

“Reviewing an old series of appeal cases from a citizenship application process from twenty years ago,” she said, waving around a highlighter. “I have a paper due on it in a few weeks and I need to know the whole thing backward and forwards.”

“Appeals?” Riz asked, jumping over the edge of the couch to look over her shoulder. “I didn’t know they ever denied people an application. I mean they accepted Bill Seacaster.”

“Have you been to Fabian’s house?” she asked with a laugh.

Riz wrinkled his nose. He knew that Bill Seacaster probably had bribed at least a few people to ease the process, after all he’d tried to bribe Fabian onto the BloodRush team, but he tried not to think about it too much. Sure Riz had his own rap sheet a mile long but it was different, he was an adventurer. Though Cathilda had laughed once when someone had said something like that to her. “What’s the difference between a pirate and an adventurer?” she’d asked with a big grin. “The flag you fly,” she’d finished before anyone had a chance to say anything. Fabian had thought it was the funniest thing ever said.

“Anyway, this had to do with suspicion of dusk moss trafficking which I think is a load of shhhh…” she trailed off.

Riz laughed. “I’ve heard worse. I’ve said worse. I went to a pirate island, remember?”

Sklonda shook her head. “You don’t need to tell me that. Let me live in my fantasy world where you’re still an innocent baby who doesn’t curse or go to pirate islands.” She ruffled his hair.

Riz laughed again and sat closer, pulling one of her books onto his lap. “They denied them off of unsubstantiated dusk moss trafficking rumors?”

Sklonda shrugged and nodded. “Stinks, doesn’t it? But that’s what the courts decided so I have to accept it and learn from the lawyer’s workarounds.”

Riz started to skim over the words, his mind finally catching onto something that wasn’t his worry about losing Fabian’s friendship for the first time since summer started. “I’m gonna look into this,” he said, mostly to himself.

Sklonda sighed. “Are you sure? The new crystal gaming console just came out but Gorgug has last year’s model and the Thistlesprings said he likes it fine. I was thinking about getting you one for your birthday. But if you’re that bored we could go get one now.”

Riz was barely listening. “I’m good. This is more fun.” And it was more fun, at least for what he wanted it for. When he was in a case he didn’t have to think about anything else, but if he played a game sometimes his hands would take over and his mind would wander. Which would not fix his worry about Fabian and their suddenly fragile friendship.

Two weeks later and Riz had barely slept, engrossed in the old case. He’d managed to dig up old newspaper reports, and court records. For a while, he'd been plotting to get the police case files too until his mom had come to pick him up from his office and found the blueprints for the police station he’d drawn from memory and threatened to tip off the police.

But still, it was a good case. With lots of interesting things and moving parts and people who he had to track down to talk to. He wished his friends were as into it as he was but when he’d mentioned it during a day at the mall they’d spent together they’d all given him a concerned look and then changed the subject.

There were two quick knocks on his office door before it opened. “Hey! Riz! You here?” Fig called out.

Riz got up from his board which now had different colors of yarn to map out the increasingly convoluted situation and went out to the main entry where she was standing. “Yeah, what’s up?”

“I need to go to hell for some like work stuff. Just gotta check-in and make sure the chaos that is being caused is the type of chaos I’m into and I want you to go with me,” Fig said, leaning up against the doorjamb.

Riz looked back at the board and sighed. He didn't want to go to hell. It was his least favorite place he had been to so far, including the nightmare forest. But Fig was asking and he couldn’t say no if a friend was asking for help. “Sure. Let me grab my briefcase.”

“Cool,” she said, turning and locking the front door behind her before she started to wave her hands around and open the portal to hell.

Hell seemed the same as it ever had if you asked Riz. Though he was a little sad he didn’t see Bill because he had also allegedly been connected to the case that Riz was working on and Riz had hoped to ask him some questions. Saying that got him another concerned look from Fig while they sat in her kitchen drinking sodas.

“What is going on with you?” she asked, eyes narrowed.

“What do you mean?” Riz asked. This was kind of just par for the course for him. Cases came up, he solved them, he found new cases.

“Why are you working on a case from before we were even born about dusk moss?” she asked, waving her hand around.

Baby appeared right next to Riz’s ear and shouted “YEAH WHY?”

Without thinking Riz turned and hissed at Baby who only hissed back.

“Baby, go see if Gorthalax is here,” she said, dismissing him.

“Yes, mistress,” Baby said before waddling off down the hall.

“I like it,” Riz said after a whole minute of Fig just waiting for him to answer.

“No, you don’t.” Fig rolled her eyes and then jumped up onto the counter. “When you care about a case it’s all you talk about. But you’re pretty normal most of the time so what’s really going on?”

Riz shrugged. “I just...I needed something to focus on. And it is interesting.”

“If you were bored you could have just come over to the manor. Schools out most of us aren’t that busy.”

Riz sighed. “I know it’s just… Do you promise not to tell anyone what I tell you?”

Fig sat up a little straighter. “Pinky swear,” she said offering her pinky out. Riz linked their pinkies and smiled.

“It’s just that...the thing I’m trying not to think about is kinda just more obvious when all of us are together.”

“What thing?”

“Fabian.”

A look of understanding crossed Fig’s face like all the world’s secrets had been revealed to her. “The fake dating jacket thing?”

Riz nodded. “I think he thinks I took it too seriously and it made him uncomfortable.”

Fig scoffed. “He started it! I mean I thought it was weird but honestly, if he started it he doesn't get to be mad that you actually used it.”

Riz nodded. “I wore it when it was just us.”

“I wear Adaine and Kristen’s jackets all the time. Sometimes Aelwyn’s when I’m trying to make her mad,” Fig said with a laugh.

Riz laughed, remembering Fig and Aelwyn running after each other one day fighting because Fig had borrowed Aelwyn’s jacket and singed the cuffs.

“You aren’t doing it to pretend you’re dating. And you don’t have a crush on any of them,” Riz said, quietly.

Fig was quiet for a minute before she slipped off her side of the counter and then pushed herself back up to sit on the counter next to him. “You have a crush on Fabian?”

Riz shrugged. “Sometimes. I don’t know. It’s weird because I’m ace and so it’s not like I want to...hook up with him...”

Fig put her arm around him. “You just want to wear his jacket?”

Riz nodded and for a second let himself lean into her. They were quiet for a long time, the spells around the house keeping the sounds of chaotic hell and screaming out. Somewhere there was a crashing noise and then the laughter of Baby which probably warranted checking on. Fig didn’t move. “I promise I won’t tell anyone. Not even Ayda.”

“Thank you,” Riz whispered, suddenly exhausted.

“But I don’t think he’s mad at you or whatever about the jacket.”

“He wasn’t wearing his friendship necklace in the picture he sent with his grandpa. Or any of the other ones since,” Riz pointed out.

“Maybe it broke?”

“And there’s no one in Fallinel with the mending charm?”

Fig sighed and pulled him to her tighter. “If he’s an asshole to you I’ll kill him. We have to let Kristen bring him back but maybe a short death will knock some sense into him.”

Riz smiled up at her, feeling a million times lighter.

Stellemere was a weird city, even by Fabian’s standards and he’d been to a city in the middle of the ocean that moved, was made of ships, and exclusively inhabited by pirates. Everything in Stellemere was clean and sparkled just a little bit, everyone on the streets looked put together, and the air was constantly filled with spells being shot back and forth.

It was his last day in Fallinel, he was being teleported home that evening and he’d decided to take a trip to the city since he hadn’t actually left the property yet. Plus he had promised to bring presents back for everyone but hadn’t bought a single thing.

His aunt had agreed to take him and give him a tour of the city before taking him to the teleport-port.

That morning his grandfather met him on the grass outside the main house with tears in his eyes. It was something Fabian had gotten used to over the past few months but today it choked him up. Maybe he was going to miss his grandfather as much as his grandfather missed him. “My sweet grandson, Fahbiahn,” he said with his hand on Fabian’s cheek. “You just arrived and now you have to leave me again so soon.”

“I’ll come visit soon, I promise,” Fabian said with a smile. “You won’t have time to miss me.”

“I already miss you. Here and gone, faster than a flower in spring,” he said softly.

Fabian stepped back, shaking his head. “I’m gonna send you a calendar for the solstice this year.”

His aunt smiled at him. “Hallariel has tried that many times.”

Just as his aunt was raising her hands to cast Teleport Taerel came out of the house, into the early dawn sunlight. Fabian smiled at them and turned to his aunt. “Can you wait just one second?”

She nodded, smiling serenely.

Fabian ran up to Taeral. “Hey,” he said as he came up.

“Good morning,” they said.

“Uh...you should. You know. If you’re ever in Solace you should call me,” Fabian stumbled over his words, blushing hard.

“When I’m next in Solace I will send you a Sending spell since you refuse to give me a crystal,” Taeral said with a smile.

“Cool. We could hang out. And stuff. And you’d like all my friends.”

“As you’ve told me.” Taeral put their hand on Fabian’s arm and then leaned in to kiss him on the cheek. “I look forward to it. But I’m also supposed to stay here for another two years so maybe by then you won’t be so interested.”

Fabian scoffed. “Yeah, heh, you know. Two years and whatever. Who knows.”

Taeral laughed again. “You should leave. You have a lot of shopping to do for your friends.”

Fabian nodded. “Right. I’m gonna go now.”

He turned around and stood next to his aunt who just smiled at him before she clapped her hands together and they were teleported into the middle of a park.

There were dancers and singers, jugglers and acrobats performing for the crowds gathered, though there was no laughter or shouting the way that Fabian would have expected if there was such a performance happening in a park back home. People just stood quietly and then clapped politely when it was over, tossing a few coins into a hat.

“The best street for shopping is just across the park. You will be able to find something for each of your friends there,” she said, leading him through the crowds.

She was right about being able to find anything he wanted. The whole street was packed with people and small shop fronts that were almost all bigger than what the outside would justify. He got a small infinite bag of holding for himself, pointedly not thinking about how if he put his books and binders in it Riz could hide in his backpack easier once he was back at school. He also bought a stringed instrument of some kind that looked a lot like a bass but sounded like a brass horn somehow for Fig. For Gorgug he bought a set of crystals that could have messages and music stored in them, with a few preloaded with what seemed like the closest the Fallinel got to metal which was just very aggressive sounding flutes. There was a book about past elven oracles that he got for Adaine which also included all prophecies that hadn’t been accepted as completed. He also found a book of elvish mysteries and philosophies that he thought Kristen would like. And for Riz he found a new hat, since his last had been lost in the Nightmare Forest, it was cuter than the last one and had a shield spell built into it.

Finally, on their way to the Teleport-port they dipped into a small bakery that his aunt swore was the best in the city since his mother had requested a new loaf of waybread when he’d set out. Apparently, there were some things that no matter how hard the elves of Solace tried they couldn’t quite get it as good as it was in Fallinel. Once he stepped inside he was struck with an idea.

“I need to buy a box of everything in the store,” he said to his aunt who blinked at him.

“Do they not have bakeries in Solace?” she asked, cocking her head to one side. He got the distinct feeling that if he said there weren’t she’d believe him.

Fabian shook his head. “No a...friend of mine is from Fallinel and she misses a certain type of cookie but I wasn’t really paying attention when she was talking about it.” It was true, during their short-lived relationship Aelwyn’d once told him about how much she hated the fact that she couldn’t remember much of being in Fallinel after her capture.

“Torture or no, I wish I remembered a bit more of being home. Maybe they fed me some real elven food every once in a while,” she’d said one night over ice cream in Brasar’s while he’d been busy trying to figure out why he wasn’t happier.

“So you’re going to buy her some of everything?”

Fabian shrugged. He hadn’t intended to get her anything, but now he couldn't imagine not at least trying to get her the cookies she’d wanted. “If she doesn’t eat it someone else will. She lives with like thirty people. And they’re having a party when I get home.”

“I understand,” she agreed, which if Fabian wasn’t so high on the feeling that he was a genius might have taken as a warning sign that he was doing something completely ludicrous. Instead, he walked up to the clerk and started stuffing boxes of pastries into his bag of holding as fast as they could ring them up. There were even a few things that looked like yogurt parfaits in a chill box that he bought for Gilear. Maybe if he thought of it as bribery for his vice-principal and not buying a gift for his mother’s boyfriend it would make the weird twist in his stomach go away.

They were on their way to the teleport-port, Fabian satisfied with himself and excited to be going home again, even if he would miss Fallinel a little bit. Being there managed to trivialize his life and all its problems in a way that actually made Fabian feel better. Like staring into the vastness of the night sky made you feel small in all the best ways.

Next to him his aunt suddenly stood up a little straighter, her eyes focused ahead on a pair of people headed right for them in shining white robes.

“Fabian Aramaris Seacaster. Son of Hallariel Lomenelda. Grandson of Telemaine Lomenelda” one of the robed people said, she was tall and her eyes were sharp, with her hair slicked back, making her face look even more severe. He thought he recognized her from the fight in the Row and Ruction but he couldn’t be sure.

“The one and only, did you want an autograph?” he said with a grin.

“I am a messenger from the Court of Stars,” she explained.

“Do they want an autograph?” he asked before she could continue.

Her eyes narrowed and she frowned. “I just want you to deliver a message to the Elven Oracle,” she said, pulling a roll of parchment out of her sleeve.

Fabian’s blood went cold as he stared at the parchment. “Oh, no. See I’m an adventurer, not a fellow messenger.” He took a step to try to get past them but they just moved with him.

“She’s turned away our ambassador and now we’re asking you.”

“No, I said I was an adventurer. Not an ambassador. They sound similar but they’re really not the same thing,” Fabian said his smile fading and taking another step to go around them.

She grabbed his arm firmly, holding him in place. “By your mother’s blood you are a citizen of Fallinel, we are asking you to do your duty.”

“And by my father’s blood I am telling you to fuck off.” He pulled his arm out of the woman’s grip and shouldered past them.

His aunt caught up to him a block later. “You should be more careful when addressing the Court of Stars,” she whispered to him. “That kind of rough treatment may not be tolerated again.”

“Why not?”

“It’s a crime!”

“Not my first, not my last.”

After his talk with Fig not much changed. He continued to work too hard on a case that no one really cared about. Sometimes Fig would take the Hangman over to his office and she’d lounge on his couch while songwriting. She never mentioned his crush on Fabian or the jacket that hung in the corner of the room which he appreciated more than he could express. It made the last two weeks of summer break pass calmer even though every passing day filled him with anxiety.

Fabian was coming home, there was no getting around that, and most of the time Riz didn’t want to get around that. He missed his best friend. He wanted Fabian to come home. He wanted to sit in his office and work on the case and let Fabian copy his math homework, and ride on the back of the Hangman.

But if Fabian came home then Riz was going to have to talk to him about the whole fake dating thing, he’d have to give back the jacket, and he’d have to face facts if Fabian wasn’t wearing the necklace anymore. Riz didn’t want to do any of those things.

But time was up. Fabian was back that day and Riz was going to his welcome home party. It was a small thing, nothing like the going away party from the start of the summer. It was just supposed to be Hallariel, Gilear, Cathilda, The Bad Kids, and whatever pirates happened to be in Seacaster Manor, though Riz was pretty sure they just lived in the walls.

Gorgug was supposed to pick Riz up on his way to the house since it was on the way anyway, but Riz had been dragging his feet on even responding to Gorgug about when he wanted to head over. Which wasn’t fair to Gorgug, he knew that, it wasn’t Gorgug’s fault that Riz was a mess who simultaneously couldn’t wait to see Fabian and dreaded the moment.

It was getting late and the sun was just starting to set when Riz’s crystal chimed once and he looked over from where he was sitting on the edge of his bed. It was a text from Gorgug saying that he was downstairs. Riz texted him back that he was on his way down before he took a deep breath and forced himself to get up.

He climbed into the front seat of the Hangvan and smiled at Gorgug. “Are you okay, man?” was the first thing Gorgug asked.

“Uh, yeah of course. Why wouldn’t I be?” Riz said with a laugh.

Gorgug didn’t look away from the road but shrugged. “Summer’s over and you’ve been kinda bummed out the last few weeks.”

“I wasn’t bummed out. I’ve been totally fine.” Riz laughed but it was off and Gorgug shot him a look. “Just working on that case.”

Gorgug nodded slowly.

“But yeah I guess I’m happy that school’s starting again. You know. See people again. Like Fabian.”

Gorgug smiled. “Yeah. I’m glad he’s home. I’ve missed him a lot.”

“Me too,” Riz admitted quietly.

“Though you guys have to break up now.”

“Yeah.” Riz sighed then remembered that Fabian’s jacket was at his office and they were coming around the corner to Seacaster Manor. “Fuck.”

“What?”

“I forgot Fabian’s jacket.”

Gorgug shrugged as he parked the car. “You can give it to him at school tomorrow.”

Riz didn’t want to give it to him at school because then people would see. And Riz was attached to the jacket, even if he didn’t wear it anymore, even if he forced himself not to think about it too much, he still liked having it. And he didn’t want people to look at him and be able to read all of that while he handed over the jacket.

“I guess then we wouldn’t have to tell people we broke up if they just...saw it happen,” Riz said trying to keep his voice level before he got out of the van.

“Exactly!” Gorgug said happily.

They went up to the house and let themselves in for the first time in months; something warm and comfortable settled in his bones. The whole group was gathered in the front room already talking over each other as Cathilda brought out plates of food until every flat surface in sight had a platter of one of Fabian’s favorite foods on it.

“You were almost late. Hallariel and Gilear already left to go pick him up,” Kristen said from where she was lounging on one of the couches. Gorgug sat down next to her on the couch and she readjusted until she was half propped up against him.

Riz looked down at his watch and frowned. “He doesn’t teleport in for another five minutes let alone travel time here.”

“Plenty of time. We don’t have to be early for everything like some people,” Fig said, grabbing Riz’s arm and pulling him into the spot next to her while she shot a look at Adaine.

“Cathilda told us what time to be here I thought we should be here at that time,” Adaine said.

“And I thank you for being on time,” Cathilda said as she placed three pitchers of different sodas on the coffee table next to a bunch of cups.

“I’m sorry we were late,” Gorgug said quietly.

“Yeah, sorry,” Riz said.

“Oh, don’t be silly. You were only a few minutes behind schedule.” She patted Riz on the shoulder as she left the room, presumably to get more food even though there was no way all of them would be able to eat it all.

The conversation devolved into people comparing their school schedules that had been emailed to them and seeing who shared their gen-ed classes. Before long the front door opened and everyone sprung up wide smiles on their faces only to sit back down when Hallariel and Gilear walked in, alone.

“He decided to take the Hangman back and it seems they have opted for a longer route,” Gilear said at everyone’s crestfallen expressions.

“We’ll be lucky if we see him tonight if the Hangman gets his way,” Fig said. “He would not shut up when I told him that Fabian was coming back when I saw him yesterday.”

“Aw it’s sweet that he missed him,” Adaine said.

“Sure, but now I don’t have a motorcycle,” Fig said, crossing her arms.

“You never had a motorcycle. You were babysitting one,” Adaine shot back.

Faintly, through the open window, there was the familiar sound of a rumbling engine with the faint noise of the screaming of hell mixed in. Everyone looked to each other, eyes wide and smiling before tearing out of the house.

Fabian was barely able to get off the bike before Kristen had tackled him in a hug, closely followed by Gorgug, Fig, and Adaine. Riz stayed back just for a second longer, hanging back and watching all his friends laughing and smiling widely. For just a second, before someone jostled Kristen and moved her head Riz saw a flash of silver around Fabian's neck.

Riz launched himself at his friends, joining the group hug and adding into the chorus of “we missed you.”

Fabian could barely breathe from how hard everyone was squeezing him.

For a brief second while everyone was telling him they missed him he saw Riz over Kristen’s head, standing just a few feet away staring at him. He was wearing a suit Fabian was sure he’d seen a thousand times, but his hair was longer and curling at the ends. And then a smile broke out across his face, so wide and bright it made Fabian's heart skip. Then he launched himself into the hug, somewhere smushed between Gorgug and Adaine.

Not over it.

He pushed away the thought and focused on the rest of his friends. “I missed you all, too,” he whispered only to be squeezed harder as they all laughed. 
 
Adaine pulled back first still smiling wide as the group broke up around him. “Cathilda made food,” she said and Fabian couldn’t help it. He took off running into the house.

Cathilda was standing just inside the door and he picked her up in a hug, spinning her around. She laughed loudly and hugged him back. “Oh, Master Fabian it’s good to have you home,” she said, sounding just a little choked up. “Do you want some kippers?”

Fabian put her back down as the rest of the group filtered back into the living room. “Absolutely. I missed you so much.” He turned to see the spread of food for the first time and sat down on the edge of the couch in front of the platter of kippers and started eating them.

Immediately, something he hadn’t known was unsettled, settled. He was home, surrounded by people who loved him and wanted him to be happy. And he had kippers.

“Oh, I got you gifts!” he yelled as everyone started to settle back into their spots. Gorgug, Kristen, and Adaine settled on one couch, Gilear and his mother had already settled on the other. Fig sat next to him and then pulled Riz to her other side. He tried not to notice the soft look Riz gave her when she did, or think about it too much.

Fabian grabbed his bag and started to pull things out. “For you,” he said handing Cathilda a new dagger that she happily took and tested the weight of.

“Thank you very much,” she said, before kissing him on top of his head.

He gave Gilear the yogurt that he had gotten from the bakery. And then started pulling out all of the pastries he’d gotten and was putting them on the tables. “I couldn’t remember what you wanted so I just got one of everything,” he said to his mother.

“Oh sweet boy, I just wanted some waybread,” she said though she was starting to stack different pastries onto her plate.

“Oh! Can I take these for Aelwyn?” Adaine asked, grabbing at a box. “They’re her favorite and neither of us can get them right when we try to make them.”

“Of course,” Hallariel said with a soft smile.

“Let me try one,” Kristen said, grabbing at the box.

“Me too!”

“And me!”

“I need to know what’s so great about these damn cookies,” Fig said catching one that Kristen tossed to her.

Fabian tried not to let it show how pleased he was that he had managed to get the cookies for Aelwyn that he’d been looking for. He didn't need his friends thinking he wanted to get back together with Aelwyn, because he really really did not want to do that. But he liked her, and he would call her a friend if she didn't make that weird face she did every time anyone called her their friend.

Next, he grabbed the bass-looking instrument for Fig and handed it to her. She took it warily and then strummed it once, a loud noise that was like four trumpets going off in his ear sounded and everyone except Hallariel and Gilear jerked back in their seats. 
 
“What is this?” Fig asked, turning it over in her hands. She was staring down at it with wide eyes as she tried to figure it out.

“No idea. I saw someone in the park playing one and thought you might like it,” Fabian said with a shrug.

“I hate you,” Adaine said at the same time Fig said, “I love it!”

Fabian pulled out the bundle of books he’d gotten for Adaine and tossed them over to her. Her glare immediately disappeared as she smiled at the books, turning them over. “I haven't found these ones before.”

“Why would I get you books you already have?” Fabian asked, shaking his head. “Oh, and the Court of Stars tried to get me to deliver something to you so they might be trying some shit again soon.”

Adaine sighed and rolled her eyes. “Aelwyn put up some anti-scrying runes around the fence of the house so they can’t spy on us quite as well as they might have been before. She’ll be insufferable when I tell her she managed to piss them off.”

“It might not have been her,” Gorgug said.

“Yeah they said something an ambassador,” Fabian said as he dug around for the next gift.

“Oh yeah,” Adaine said with a smile. “The new ambassador came to the house a few weeks ago and after I said I didn’t want to talk to him everyone threatened to kill him if he didn’t leave.”

“Fuck yeah,” Fabian said, pulling out the crystals and tossing them to Gorgug.

After a few seconds of fiddling Gorgug somehow managed to connect his headphones to the crystals and started nodding along to the music. “This is weird. But I love it,” he half-shouted because he couldn’t hear them over the music.

Fabian tossed Riz’s new hat around Fig who was still strumming the new instrument quietly while glaring at it like it was her history homework.

“Thank you!” Riz smiled wide and put it on, covering his cute hair with a hat that was almost identical to the one he’d lost in the forest. This one was a darker gray though so that it would match his suits a little better, and it actually fit his head instead of being a touch too large because it had belonged to someone else first. Fabian didn’t mention the shield spell that was built into it. That was a secret for him to know and no one to ever learn.

Riz turned to Fig. “How do I look?”

“It’s better than the last hat,” Fig said with a shrug.

“You’re hair is so cute you shouldn’t cover it,” Kristen chimed in.

“No flying through the air on grappling hooks and losing this one,” Fabian said but Riz just laughed at him.

Finally, he grabbed the last bundle of books and tossed them to Kristen. “These are just books filled with things people don’t know?” she asked, smiling wide as she started to thumb through them.

Adaine laughed. “If there’s one thing elves love doing it’s putting together collections of books of niche topics.”

“I do love a niche topic,” Gilear said from the other side of the room where he was eating his yogurt happily.

Fabian piled his plate with some more of Cathilda’s cooking before he leaned back on the couch, smiling at his friends as they enjoyed the gifts he’d gotten them, warmth settling in his chest. He’d missed them and yeah, he had school tomorrow which sucked. But it was good to be home. He had his mom and Cathilda and even Gilear with him. The Hangman was in the garage waiting for him. The trip had been good, and maybe in a few weeks he’d miss Kei Lumennura, but right then as he sat on his couch he couldn’t imagine it.

The night before they were supposed to go back to school Riz barely slept. He already didn’t sleep great, much to the chagrin of everyone in his life who loved him. But that night, after spending the whole evening in Seacaster Manor, wearing the hat Fabian had bought him chatting and laughing and trying not to stare at the friendship necklace back in its proper place he was freaking out.

Because the next day he had to break up with Fabian. Give him the jacket back and somehow try to balance his real heartbreak with the fake heartbreak. He wasn't a good liar and was an even worse actor.

But tomorrow he had to. There was no way around it because he’d spent the whole summer wearing Fabian's jacket and letting people think they were dating.

The next morning, Gorgug picked him up on his way to school, happily listening to the music that Fabian had brought back on the crystals from Fallinel. Riz could almost appreciate it. It didn’t give him a headache quite like some of Gorgug’s other music, but it filled the silence so he didn’t have to think about Fabian’s jacket in his briefcase.

But when they pulled up to the school Fabian wasn’t there yet and the five other Bad Kids sat on the front steps as they watched the freshman try to form adventuring parties. It was always a weird time to watch the freshman because for them, who had pretty much been assigned an adventuring party through detention, it was an awkward social moment that none of them had been forced to live through.

There were still fights as people took the same bad advice that Bill had given to Fabian, but no one tried to throw Riz in a trash can and call him The Ball. Ragh was unique.

Finally, as the bell was ringing Fabian and the Hangman pulled up in the parking lot, loud and obnoxious and only making the heads of the freshman turn since everyone else was used to it.

The whole group stood up and started to go to their classes but Riz waved them off. He had rogue class first and being late to that was more or less encouraged. And he needed to give back the jacket before he went insane.

Fabian crossed the parking lot smiling wide and with a spring in his step. Probably glad to be back on his home turf as an upperclassman.

“Good morning, The Ball,” he said brightly.

Riz tossed the jacket at Fabian, which did catch the eye of some other people. “Here you go. I forgot to bring it yesterday.”

Fabian looked around at the people watching them.

This was good. They needed an audience so that everyone would see that they were broken up and Riz would never have to say it out loud. It was good. No reason to panic.

Fabian laughed though and wrapped it around Riz’s shoulders again like he had the night of the party. He leaned in close and whispered, “If we break up now people will think I cheated on you in Fallinel.”

“That doesn’t make any sense,” Riz said, though after a second he thought it might have. But also didn’t. He really didn’t understand allo people. And the jacket around his shoulders was messing with his ability to think clearly.

“Yes, it does,” Fabian said. “I’m going for a bad boy vibe, not an asshole vibe.”

Riz sighed, shaking his head. “Okay, like another week or two?”

Fabian thought for a second, his face twisting into a very confusing series of emotions that Riz couldn’t decipher all right then. “Two or three.”

Riz nodded. “Okay. Two or three weeks and then we’ll break up. That way I don’t ruin your whole junior year,” Riz mumbled.

Fabian shot him a sharp look like he was upset by something, but almost as soon as Riz caught it, it smoothed away into an easy smile. “Right. But right now I’m still your boyfriend so I should walk you to class.”

Riz shook his head. “Your class is on the opposite side of the building. I’ll see you at lunch.”

“It’s the first day, I can be late,” Fabian said as they went up the stairs, his hand on Riz’s back.

Panic rose up in his throat and he did the only thing he could think of and disappeared down the hall away from Fabian where he could think.

Fuck, fuck, fuck.

It had been hard enough to be fake dating Fabian when he was in another country. Now he was there and it was going to be like the night of the party all over again. Except this time for weeks.

Thinking about the going away party still made him blush. From Fabian initially putting the jacket on for him to the way Fabian had winked at him when they’d gone downstairs to Ragh whistling at them. Fabian had spent the rest of the night glued to Riz’s side, usually with an arm around Riz’s shoulders or waist. He’d whispered jokes into Riz’s ear and threatened to fight a guy who made a snide remark about them being an unlikely couple.

It’d been like a daydream come to life and now Riz was going to live it again. He wasn’t sure his heart would make it through that time.

They were a week into school and things were going...badly. Riz would barely look at Fabian, and refused to sit next to him, always appearing next to Adaine or Fig after Fabian had already picked his spot. They were never alone together anymore; Riz always had an excuse for why Fabian couldn’t come to his office to do his homework like he used to and he never accepted rides home from anyone but Gorgug.

It was like all of his worst fears about what would happen if Riz found out about his feelings coming true. Even Fig was picking up on it, shooting Fabian odd looks he couldn't decipher and always making sure Riz had a reason to be with her instead of Fabian if he wanted.

And Gorgug had noticed too. Fabian would be worried about the fact that Gorgug could read him so easily if he hadn’t outright told Gorgug about his crush a week after Spring Break.

But now Gorgug was watching him with worried eyes over lunch on the second Monday of school where Riz had all but disappeared when Adaine had brought up whether or not they should all go to Homecoming as friends or skip like they did last year. Gorgug had history class with Fabian next period though and as they sat down he sighed. “Can I come over and hang out tonight?” Gorgug asked.

“Of course! Why?”

Gorgug shrugged. “Kinda wanna talk about relationship...stuff.”

Fabian nodded and for a moment thought he’d escaped from Gorgug bringing up his Riz problem. Because Gorgug had an opinion on it, that he was sure of. But Zelda had disappeared suddenly on a mission to get her GED and Gorgug was worried without wanting to come off as worried.

So Gorgug followed Fabian home in the Hangvan after school.

They were in Fabian’s room, after having already received snacks from Cathilda before Gorgug broke the news to Fabian that he wasn’t there to talk about Zelda.

“She’s with the other Maidens. I’m sure she’s fine,” Gorgug shrugged as he sat down in Fabian’s desk chair and Fabian sat on the end of his bed. “And her phone is connected to my parents' satellite so if she needs help from me she can call.”

“Then what do you want to talk about?” Fabian asked.

“You and Riz.”

Fabian shrugged it off. “It’s not a big deal.”

“I don’t know, man. Seems like it must be a big deal because you’re both being really weird,” Gorgug said in that frustratingly calm and logical voice he had.

Fabian winced. “I was hoping it was just in my head.”

“No. You two don’t sit next to each other or talk and you’re both been weird in the group chat since like the middle of summer.”

Fabian groaned and threw himself back on his bed. “I know. I just...I couldn’t stop thinking about him being here wearing my jacket and telling people that he was my boyfriend when I wasn’t even here to enjoy it but then I realized that if he finds out I enjoy it he’s going to...hate me or something.”

“Yeah seems like it was probably a bad idea to let your crush call you his boyfriend when you won’t tell him how you feel,” Gorgug said with a shrug.

Fabian sat up just enough to glare at him.

“I really doubt he’d hate you if you told him how you felt.”

Fabian sighed and stared at his ceiling. “Over the summer I realized I might be demi which is a part of the asexuality spectrum but… Riz is just ace. And I don’t want him to be uncomfortable with the fact that I like him...like that.”

“But he might not be uncomfortable if you just talk about it. Things with Zelda always get better after I talk to her,” Gorgug said.

“You and Zelda are already dating and aren’t in the same adventuring party. If Riz and I…”
 
“If you and Riz continue to act like you can’t stand to be in the same room as each other it’s going to start ruining the group and might start putting the rest of us in danger?” Gorgug said.

Fabian sat up for a second to glare at Gorgug for having a point again. “I tried to get over him, I really did. I started half dating Taeral and they were cool and funny and liked me and I didn’t think about Riz that much anymore but then I got back and he was just there looking so...did he get hotter over the summer?”

Gorgug thought for a second and then shrugged. “I don’t think so? But maybe.” Gorgug shook his head like he was clearing his thoughts.

Fabian groaned again. He was pretty sure that Riz had gotten hotter over the summer.

They were quiet for a while before Gorgug got up and went to his side. He looked down at Fabian who looked back up at him, miserable. He knew what was coming next. “If you really want to get over Riz I think you have to stop dating him.”

Fabian nodded. “You’re right.”

Gorgug smiled at him, encouraging. “You wanna play a crystal game and not talk about this anymore?”
 
Fabian sat up and started reaching for the remote. “Desperately.”

Two weeks into the school year and things were going...bad. That was the only word Riz could think of to cover it. Things were just bad. Classes were fine since it was still early in the term and they weren’t doing much of anything yet. But pretty much everything else was bad.

The first day of school he’d tried to be normal about the whole thing, to let Fabian do the favor he’d promised. But as he’d sat next to Fabian, now wearing the letterman jacket again for the first time in months, he’d become certain that everyone in the room could see his genuine affection for Fabian and that at any second Fabian would look down at him from where he was holding him close to his side and see it all written across his face.

So he’d stopped sitting next to Fabian. He stopped wearing the jacket again. He’d stopped accepting rides home, and whenever Fabian asked if he could come over to the office and copy his math homework Riz would make up an excuse about needing to be home with his mom. As the lies piled up Riz just got more awkward, trying to keep them straight in his head but also just feeling the crushing guilt of lying to his friends.

The last time he’d lied this much it’d been about Baron and look how that’d turned out.

By the time the second week started Fabian’s best friend necklace started disappearing then reappearing around his neck like he couldn't decide if he should be wearing it.

Fig was doing her best to give a little bit of a buffer, making sure that if Riz wanted there was always a spot next to her. And Adaine seemed to have silently caught on that something was up and had started to do the same. They were lifesavers, giving him a little bit of sanity while the rest of the world spun out. 
 
Because Gorgug was acting weird too, watching Fabian from across the lunch table and shaking his head at odd moments like he knew something that no one else did.

The tension was building, he could feel it deep in his bones. The same way he could feel it when someone spotted him while he was hiding, or the second before a hit was coming down on him. Something was going to give soon and the damage was going to be catastrophic. The group was going to break up if they kept on like that. Maybe he could get his GED like Penny.

The only person who seemed not to have noticed was Kristen. She had enough of her own shit going on so it made sense that she was oblivious to the rest of their weirdness. Which was why Fabian and Riz were the closest they’d been to each other in weeks, sitting on the bleachers while Kristen practiced casting spells on them.

Kristen had asked for help studying for one of her protection classes during lunch but Adaine was meeting with Aguefort about Oracle stuff and Fig and Gorgug had already booked studio time so they couldn't make it. Which left Fabian and Riz.

She was standing a few feet in front of them with her palms pointed at Riz, staring at him while she started to mumble the spell. Shadowy, misty magic started to swirl around Riz only to dissipate half a second later.

“Fuck!” she said, going back to her book.

“Hey, you got this. I believe in you,” Fabian said, pointing at her and giving her his most supportive smile.

She smiled back at him and nodded. “I got this.” She turned back to her book and kept reviewing it, looking for whatever she’d done wrong.

While she did, a gnome from one of Riz’s rogue classes came around the corner of the bleachers and stopped to wave. “Hey, Riz,” he said with an awkward smile.

“Hey Nillbryt,” Riz said awkwardly. He’d never actually spoken to him, he just sat on the opposite side of the room. After a moment of silence when Riz realized that he wasn’t going to just leave Riz waved at his friends. “You guys know Nillbryt, right?” he asked even though he was one hundred percent certain that neither of them could have even guessed the guy went to their school if he wasn’t actively wearing a school hoodie.

“Hey,” Kristen said distractedly, still trying to figure out what she’d done wrong.

“Hey,” Fabian said with just as little interest though he had nothing else he was focused on. He just didn’t give a shit.

“Hi. I was wondering...uh. Homecoming is in a few weeks and uh. Are you guys all going as like friends? Or do you have dates already?” he asked, staring directly at Fabian.

Fuck. This was exactly what Riz had been afraid of. People were going to ask out Fabian and Riz was going to be in the way of Fabian having a good time. Even if Fabian didn't care about Nillbryt he should still have been free to say yes or no because he wanted to, not because of his obligation to Riz.

“What?” Kristen asked, finally turning into the conversation. “I think most of us are going as friends right?”

Riz started to nod because after the Tracker break-up Riz was pretty much ready to go to any dance with her she wanted just so she didn’t spiral back the way she had.

“People still have dates though,” Fabian said, referencing Ayda and Fig, and Gorgug and Zelda.

Nillbryt’s face lit up. “Cool, so like. Do you have a date?”

For a moment the world stood still. They were all frozen staring at Nillbryt. Kristen looked confused and a little bit angry. Fabian looked angry and a little bit confused. And Riz was certain he looked like he’d just seen the light at the end of the tunnel.

This was it. This was how he saved Fabian from himself. This was how he got the breakup that Fabian needed without risking ruin to Fabian's reputation. Because if Riz was still on good terms with Fabian then whatever it was must not have been Fabian’s fault. Fabian could go back to trying to get his kisses in with whoever caught his fancy. It was a good thing, he tried to convince himself.

He opened his mouth to say that Fabian didn’t have a date but was cut off by Fabian putting his arm around Riz’s shoulders. 
 
“Why wouldn’t I have a date?”

Nillbryt’s face went ashen. “Oh, gods. I’m so sorry,” he said looking at Riz. “I thought you two broke up.”

“And you were still going to ask him out in front of Riz?” Kristen asked. Now her confusion was fading into just plain anger. Like she didn’t know that the relationship was a sham and that this was a real offense that she needed to correct.

Nillbryt shrugged, panicked and at a loss. “I’m so sorry. I’m...I’m...I’m stupid and leaving. Goodbye. I’ll see you in class tomorrow,” he said before he took off across the grounds towards the parking lot.

“No worries,” Riz barely managed to squeak out.

Fabian and Kristen turned to Riz but before either of them could say anything he grabbed his bag, slipped through the gaps in the bleachers, and took off running in the opposite direction. He was gone, hidden in bushes as he made his way to the nearest bus stop that would take him home.

Kristen and Fabian both called after him a few times before they gave up, confusion clear in the voices. Riz didn’t stop running until he was hidden in the small residential neighborhood behind the school where he could pick up the route 17 bus then transfer to route 3 to take him home.

By the time he was getting on the bus though he was certain he’d made it worse. If he’d just sat there and smiled it would have been fine. It would have been like the night of the party, it would have been exactly what was expected of him. Instead, his emotions had run too high, making him panic.

It was the in-between-ness of it all that was killing him, he decided on the Route 3 bus. It was the fact that he couldn’t just be left to pine miserably, or move on, or ignore his feelings anymore. They were constantly in front of him, Fabian forcing him to look at them and act on them but not to mean them.

Even if it wasn’t Fabian’s fault, Riz concluded as he dragged himself up the stairs to his apartment. Because if Riz had half a backbone, he wouldn’t have needed Fabian’s help in the first place. Or at least he would have broken it off already. He would have taken charge and told Fabian that things needed to go back to the way they were because now they were worse. They were tangibly worse and it was Riz’s fault because he couldn’t talk to his friend who was only doing it as a favor to him anyway.

Sklonda had just gotten back from classes a few minutes before Riz if the way she was digging through the fridge was any indication.

“What’s up, kiddo?” she asked without looking up.

He leaned back against the kitchen wall, his briefcase held to his chest. “I think I blew up my life.”

Sklonda straightened up and looked at him over the fridge door. “Why?” she asked slowly.

“Running away makes things worse right? More awkward?” he asked.

“Unless you’re running from actual bombs, yes usually.”

Riz groaned and slid down to the floor.

Fabian turned to Kristen but before he could say anything she just shook her head and said, “I think it’s time for you to break up with Riz.”

Fabian sat back down on the bleachers with a heavy thud. “Gorgug thinks I should too. But...I don’t want to.”

“You don’t?” she asked looking at him like he’d lost his mind. “You’re so miserable you’re making me miserable.”
 
“I like him. For...real.”

“We know. Everyone knows. The only people who don’t know is that guy,” she said gesturing at the parking lot where Nillbryt disappeared to. “And Riz.”

“Everyone?!” Fabian asked. “I mean Gorgug knows. And I just told you but-”

“You’re not subtle. Even Aelwyn knows!” Kristen hesitated for a second. “Actually Aelwyn is the one who brought it up first.”

Fabian buried his face in his hands.

Kristen sat next to him and put an arm around his shoulders. “You should tell him how you feel. Talk this out ‘cause you’re honestly killing the rest of us.”

Fabian sighed. It was probably more literal than she intended. If his and Riz’s issues continued and they got into a battle someone might pay for it with their lives. They already died enough when they weren’t fighting. “You want a ride home?”

“Yeah,” she said getting up and putting away her books. Fabian drove Kristen home quietly, thinking about what she’d said. He didn’t want to do this. He really, really didn’t. But he was running out of options. Because now he’d signed them up to go to homecoming which was in a week and a half as a romantic pair. And that had sent Riz running.

After he dropped Kristen off he turned the Hangman around and sat at the stop sign for far too long. Turn right and he could go home and ignore all of this for a little while longer. Turn left and he could go to Riz’s office and settle it all.

“What do you think, Hangman?”

I think The Ball is not worthy of your affections.

“That’s not super helpful right now,” Fabian sighed.

If you love him so deeply that he has caused you this much anguish then you must settle the score with him. One can never know the outcome of a fight until it is done.

Fabian turned left.

I still think you can do better.

“I know. And I love that you do. But Riz is what I want.”

You should always have what you want, sire.

“Thanks, Hangman.”

Fabian let himself into Riz’s office with the key he still had. Everyone had been given keys to Riz’s office after spring break for emergencies, but mostly they just used them whatever they wanted. Sometimes Riz just locked himself in his office and breaking into his office was for his own good.

But Riz was nowhere inside. Not even hiding under his desk like he did when he didn’t want to be found. The only thing in the whole office that Fabian cared about was his letterman jacket that was hanging on the coat rack next to the door, sad and abandoned. Riz hadn’t worn it since the first day back at school and Fabian and been too terrified to upset the already shitty balance they had to ask about it.

Fabian grabbed the jacket but didn’t put it on.

He was going to talk to Riz and if it ended up with Riz not wanting to date him then Fabian would take his jacket back and maybe go ask Nillbryt out to homecoming. He didn’t want to go with Nillbryt since he didn't even know the guy. But he was willing and at the very least it would help cover for him with the rest of the gang. They needed him to get it together and so he would.

Outside the Strongtower Luxury Apartments Fabian took a deep breath and centered himself. “I believe in you,” he whispered to himself.

I believe in you, sire, the Hangman added.

“Thank you.” He went up the stairs to Riz’s apartment and knocked on the door.

Sklonda answered. “Thought you might come by,” she said before Fabian could say anything. “He’s in his room.” She moved to the side so Fabian could come in. Then she turned, grabbed her bag, and shouted “I’m going to the grocery store. Back in a bit.” Quieter she turned to Fabian. “Don’t hurt my son, Fabian. Please.”

Fabian shook his head. “He’s more likely to hurt me”

“Teenagers,” she mumbled, shutting the door behind her.

Fabian stared across the room at Riz’s door and was amping himself up to cross the room and knock, he really was, when it opened. “You came over just to stand in my doorway?”

“Don’t make me go to homecoming alone,” he blurted out. Which was not at all what he had practiced on the way over. On the way over he’d been considering an apology for not letting Riz break it off when he’d wanted to at the beginning of the term and then confessing that the reason he hadn’t wanted to was because he was selfish and in love.

Riz sighed, running his fingers through his hair. “I won’t. I shouldn't have run away, it was weird.”

 Fabian shrugged. “Yeah. It was weird,” he laughed.

They were quiet for too long, just watching each other. “You have your jacket,” Riz finally said.

“Yeah. I went by the office to look for you first.” He looked down at the jacket in his hands and actions were so much easier. Why couldn’t he just wrap Riz up in it again and have that fix everything? Why did there need to be words when he was so damn bad at them? “I want you to wear it again.”

Riz was already shaking his head, arms crossed. “I don’t think I should.”

Fabian’s heart broke in his chest, and he couldn't breathe for a long minute.

“This thing…it’s messing up the whole group,” Riz said. “And if we can’t stop messing it up we’re going to get someone killed.”

“I know. But do you not want to?”

Riz sighed, looking to the left of Fabian. “Adventuring party dynamics are important. Fragile. And they have to be respected.”

“But what about what you want?” Fabian asked because he needed this to be about want. He didn’t want this to be about reason and logic. If he was going to have his heart broken he wanted it to be because Riz didn’t want him not because Riz was too responsible to have him.

Riz was quiet for a long time, still refusing to look at Fabian. “Why?”

“Just say you don’t want me and I’ll go. I’ll take the jacket and ask out Nill-whatever his name is. I can tell him that you were planning on breaking up with me this afternoon when we were done studying with Kristen.” Fabian sighed and sat down on the couch, sinking further into it than he meant. He was a little shorter than Riz was now who was still standing across the room with his arms crossed. “Tell me what you want me to do. I guessed all summer and Gorgug keeps telling me I’m guessing wrong.”

“Want has had nothing to do with this,” Riz said, coming over and sitting on the coffee table so they were right across from each other. “It was a favor that went too far, right?”

“Or not far enough.”

Riz rolled his eyes and shook his head, looking away from Fabian again.

Fabian ran his hand through his hair. “It wasn’t just a favor for you. I really don’t want people to hit on you because...I love you.”

Riz’s gaze snapped back to him, eyes narrowed but not angry. Just focused, trying to read everything on Fabian's face. For once Fabian didn’t cover anything he was feeling up, there wasn’t a point to a show anymore. He was there because the show was ruining his life. “Like…” Riz started but then trailed off. “Like romantically? Or the way Aelwyn gets kinda irritated when people hit on Adaine too much?”

Fabian smiled, remembering a day at the mall when Aelwyn had hit a person with a ray of sickness when they wouldn’t stop hitting on Adaine and making her uncomfortable. “Romantically. Definitely romantically.”

For a second Riz didn’t react, but then his mouth started to twitch like he was holding back and then he gave up and a smile spread across his face wide and bright. “Can I wear your jacket again?”

Warmth filled every bit of Fabian, and he knew he was smiling wide too. With a dramatic flourish, he wrapped the jacket around Riz’s shoulders. This time when the wild part of his mind said mine it wasn’t feral or possessive. It was calm and soft, brought to heal by the equally loud part of his mind that said yours when Riz leaned forward and kissed him.